The Dead Girl
by ridingondreams
Summary: Bella’s blood was too tempting. Edward killed a room full of students to get to her, but then his family barged in. Too busy with the havoc to realize one victim’s heart was still beating, three days later she follows their scent to Alaska.
1. Aberration

**Chapter One – The Dead Girl**

**Co-authored by ****edwardnbella4eva09 **from chapter four and onward. Thus, if you see that username with this same story posted, you'll know that she didn't plagiarize it. =)

**Summary: **Edward couldn't control himself in biology, not with Bella's dulcet smell. He attacks the room of humans, leaving Bella for last to savour the blood. Then Alice shows up, trailed by Emmett and Jasper. They rip him off the girl to yell at him, and then they quickly began plans to cover this up or get away. They were too preoccupied to notice one human still lay awake—and changing into a vampire. They leave, and the EMT take Bella to the hospital and three days later the morgue. Bella traces the Cullens scent back to Alaska, in need of answers.

_**Disclaimer:** S. Meyer owns the world. Literally. No one is cooler than her. This is also her story that I'm messing with. Yeah, that's right, I'm messing with it. Really, if this were the way the story was meant to go, SM would've written it that way. Her story trumps mine, but hey, this is just Fanfiction! If it were good enough to replace Twilight, well, Steph Meyer would've written it this way! All credit for characters and ideas goes to her; I'm just using them for some fun. Besides, if I was SM, this wouldn't be Fanfiction..._

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**CHAPTER ONE**

**Bella's POV**

It was my first day of class in Forks High. The day had gone relatively okay, until I reached biology. I was sent to sit next to Edward Cullen—a boy who glared me down as soon as I got close to him. I noticed how he sat rigid in his seat, gripping the table, glaring at me. I couldn't understand what I had done wrong.

I was unable to concentrate on Mr. Banner's lesson; the only thing I could focus on was the infuriated boy beside me, one who was starting to make the hairs on the back of my head stand up...

His eyes were coal black, and he was gripping the lab table so hard that I could see the wood being ripped downwards at his hold. _How strong is he?!_

He didn't say a word to me, but only glared. I was starting to get a little scared. His chair was pushed away from mine, his face set in anger, crumpled in concentration. I also noticed he wasn't breathing. _What's his problem?_

His glare was starting to make me feel uncomfortable, so I swished a long curtain of my hair in front of my face. The fan blew on me right at that moment, and further shielded my face from his view.

Then he pounced. Before I could even blink, he was across the room breaking the teacher's neck. I watched in horror as he went from student to student, gripping his hand around their neck and then cracking the bones, leaving them with large open gashes and their blood flowing down. They were now pale, and presumably cold. Dead.

Then he reached me. An entire class of students had been massacred, and I hadn't so much as thought of running away. However, something told me I wouldn't have been able to escape.

"Stop, please, stop." I murmured, but it only caused a cruel smile to curl his lips.

"No, you smell too good..." he whispered, before leaping towards me. He grasped my neck, but unlike the others, he put his mouth to it. He began to suck out my blood, and I let out a bloodcurdling scream. No one could hear me.

I was burning, and writhing in pain. It hurt so much, but he didn't stop. _What is he doing?!_ I wondered.

Then a short pixie-like girl with black hair stormed in, the one I knew to be Alice. Trailing her was the oversized boy named Emmett, and the girl's blond boyfriend, Jasper.

I was on the brink of death. A few more laps of blood, and I'd be dead. Luckily, the new intruders saved me—unintentionally, yes, but they still did.

"WHAT DID YOU DO EDWARD?!" I heard the burly one scream. Edward paid him no heed.

Then Emmett came towards us. He ripped Edward off me, yelling at him, "WHAT DID YOU FREAKIN' DO?!"

Edward fought against their grip, but they were too angry. I noticed Alice looking around for survivors, but saw none. Did she not realize my heart was still faintly beating?

I held in screaming, crying, or talking. My best bet was to appear drained and dead, which is what I did.

"We have to go. NOW." Alice growled. Edward fought against them, his eyes still barely holding remains of the original black.

"Edward, the school administrators are coming. Do you really want to kill them too? We have to escape—_you killed a full class of humans!!_ We need to go to Alaska, _now!_" Alice hissed at him.

Alice walked towards the window and cut the glass with her nails. _How did she do that? _Then she and Emmett pulled Edward through it.

I was alone.

I don't know how long I lay there, but I soon heard voices coming towards the room. "I swear I heard screaming coming from the science hall..." one person said.

The footsteps grew louder and soon enough the vice principal and two teachers were standing in the doorway, staring at the massacre that had gone through this room.

They looked around in horror at the room, but then picked up the phone. "I need to speak with the principal." She stated, and there was a long pause. "NOW!" she hissed.

"Mr. Edgar, come to the science hall immediately. There's a class of students here who all appear to be dead. Bring the EMT officers immediately, and call the police chief." She whispered urgently. She quickly told him the room number, and then hung up, waiting for them to arrive.

They began to walk around, inspecting the bodies. I stayed quiet; _were the Cullens still here in the school?_

I heard the gasps of teachers as they walked in, but there were no words, only stunned and horrified silence. I wanted to talk, to ask if it was safe from the Cullens, but I felt as though I were on fire. If I did speak, all I would be able to do is scream. If the Cullens were still here it would certainly notify them they hadn't completed their job.

The EMTs were soon bursting through the doors, checking for any survivors. There were none—except me.

"This girl is still alive. Her heart is beating faintly. We have to get her to the hospital, _now!!_" I heard one of them hiss.

"Bella?!" I heard Charlie choke, but I could make no reply. I could no longer focus; the fire burning all throughout me took over my every thought...

**Edward's POV**

I killed a room full of innocent children. I really am a heartless, soulless monster.

Bella's blood smelt too good, I _had_ to have it then. I had been thinking of other schemes to get it without so many deaths, but the monster raging inside me could not wait to be satiated.

I broke everyone's necks in the room in a matter of minutes, killing them. I saved Bella for last so I could savour her blood.

I began to drink, and the taste was amazing. Saccharine, dulcet, delicious... it was beyond anything I had ever tasted before. Then Alice, Emmett, and Jasper showed up.

Bella's blood was nearly gone. I took another gulp, certain that I had just about drank her dry by then. However, I wasn't able to suck every last remain because I was pulled from her. Jasper and Emmett were yelling at me, angered and repulsed by my lack of control.

Their words were almost pleasant compared to how vile and angry their thoughts were towards me. Alice checked for heartbeats, but I knew I had already finished everyone off. They were all dead. Wait—was Bella?

I looked over, but she was lying still. Unmoving. If she were alive, she'd be at least writhing with the burning sensation, and screaming too. I killed her. The poor, innocent girl. As well as a room full of others.

I vaguely noticed Jasper cut the window open, but I was in too much of a daze to notice. I thought I saw Alice text someone—presumably Rosalie—and I was being dragged out the window.

It was time to face up to Carlisle. I was going to disappoint him so terribly.

We had little time to talk when we returned. We grabbed our most important possessions, stashed them in the car, and sped to Alaska. I was, of course, the prime suspect for the slaughter, so we all had to leave—quickly.

I couldn't focus very much on the conversation at hand. My thoughts were instead directed towards myself, full of self hate.

I did make out a bit of the conversation—we would be staying near the Denali's, but in our own house. We'd be there in a couple days.

I drove silently behind my family, berating myself over and over again. I'm a callous, malevolent, vile, heartless, soulless monster.

How could I even still call myself a Cullen?

**Bella's POV**

I was in the hospital. My body was writhing with the fire, my lungs aching from all the screaming. I wished to die so very badly, but whenever I opened my mouth all I could do was scream; I could never make out "KILL ME!".

Thus, I lay in anguish on the hospital bed, hearing Charlie and Renee weeping over my tortured body. Apparently my heartbeat was slowing with each passing hour. It was the slowest and most painful death I could ever imagine.

Then, finally, it ended. I was declared death. The fire in me was reduced to only burning in my throat.

I could focus now, and I realized how much clearer everything was. The details were so vivid, and I could see an eighth colour I had never been able to see before. My hearing was heightened—all of my senses were.

The doctors said something was different about my body—I had changed physically; my body was pale, and much more beautiful.

I did not open my eyes, as I assumed I knew what I was. I remember Jake's tales from when I was a little girl. "_Have you heard the legends of the cold ones? They drink blood. A group of them used to live around here, called the Cullens. They claimed to be safe—animal drinkers. We still didn't trust them..."_

It made sense. They were incredibly strong and fast. They were pale and cold, as though no blood was circulating in their body. And, of course, Edward had drank my blood. But weren't they supposed to be animal drinkers? Maybe that was why Alice was so shocked.

I had spent my time burning deciding what to do next. It seems I could never go to my family—my throat flamed, aching to satiate itself whenever a human was around. I was unsafe.

I'd never see Charlie again, or Renée. My life has been turned completely upside down.

The doctors wanted to do tests on my body, as it is nothing they had ever seen before. My father vehemently rejected that, and since he was the respected police chief they let it go.

I was buried in the cemetery—but I wasn't dead. I broke free of the coffin, and dug back up to land. I filled the hole with dirt, then I ran out into the forest to hunt—animals, of course. It was dark outside, the midst of night. The forest cascaded around the burial grounds, luckily for me. I knew that this burning must have to do with a vampire's need to drink blood—like Edward had done with me. But I won't be like him.

I could smell some kind of blood; it wasn't appealing like those who buried me had been, but it was something. Some kind of animal. I couldn't see where it was yet, but I knew it was close. When I smelt the scent getting closer I raced towards it.

A heard of deer stood drinking from the pond, oblivious to my presence. I travelled quietly closer to them, but it was as if they sensed the danger. I prowled towards the biggest one, lunging towards it. The other deer scattered away running as I broke the fawn's neck, digging my teeth into it, gulping down the sweet blood.

It definitely wasn't what I was expecting. It reminded me of the one time I went to a restaurant with Renee, and ordered a hamburger. When I got it, I eagerly sunk my teeth into it, only to find the taste revolting—it was a vegetarian burger. I suppose animal blood is much the same as tofu. I filled up until I could drink no more; I couldn't have my throat burning from thirst if I was going to be around humans.

The Cullens scent was in the forest; I recognized it immediately. Edward had a sweet, enticing, enveloping scent that draws me in. I followed it back to a big white house. It was absolutely stunning; decorated fabulously and designed extravagantly. I explored the house, gasping at the beauty of the house. I found a pair of keys in one of the rooms and pocketed it; there may be a car left that I could drive to find them. When I was sure I was familiarized with the scent, I checked the garage for a car. Sure enough, there was one car left behind whose lock matched the key. I climbed in, and then rolled down the window, following their scent all the way to Alaska.

**Alice's POV**

We made it to Denali three weeks ago. We unpacked within the first few hours, and then some of us went out to hunt. Edward stayed locked in his room. I knew he was upset for what he did—which, really, he _deserves_ to be upset. He murdered over thirty people! _I_ can't believe he did that!

I can't help feeling guilt that I hadn't stopped him. I'm a _psychic_! Of all people, _I_ should have been able to stop this! I'm _depended on_ to know things like this! How could I have let this get by me?! I kept getting flashes of him and the Swan girl—in a forest, at her house, in her car—all with him killing her. Then a few mixed in with the whole class dying. I _should_ have done something! But I _didn't_. We can all blame Edward—he's one of the oldest Cullens, one of the most trusted to stay away from blood. Yet he didn't. But it wasn't his fault—she smelled _too good_. He wasn't in control of himself then, but _I_ was in control of _myself_. Yet I let everyone down. I may as well of helped Edward kill all of those students. I'm just as horrible.

But, what's in the past is in the past. We just have to move on. I'm trying to do that, and Jasper's been helping as much as he can I wish Edward could do that. I miss him when he's so reclusive, dark, and depressing. And according to my visions, it doesn't seem like he's going to get better any time soon.

Tanya keeps trying to hit on him whenever she comes over—she disgusts me. She's used to having the men all over her, and is upset that Edward isn't. She's so pompous and stuck-up, I wish she's just realize that Edward doesn't care whatsoever about her and get lost! The only one of us who can actually tolerate her is Rosalie—and the two of them together is horrible! Two pretentious, self-important, vain girls. They suit each other perfectly, unfortunately for us. I'm surprised Edward hasn't lashed out at her yet—I can barely contain my anger when she's around! Jasper's pretty much dying—if that were even possible—from all of the emotion; he leaves the house any chance he gets.

Carlisle was very disappointed in Edward; we all were. But Edward's furious enough at himself without us layering on the guilt, so we try to keep it to ourselves, out of our thoughts.

What's really bothering me is I keep getting hazy visions of the Swan girl and my family mixed together. I don't understand why this is—she's _dead_! Are my visions going through possible outcomes of what _could_ have happened? Were the visions I'm having now so definite before that they were permanently etched into my thoughts, waiting for a chance to appear? And now that they haven't had a chance, they're plaguing me now? But that doesn't make sense. It's never happened before, and I don't know why it would now.

That's not the only odd thing happening. Jasper keeps telling me he senses someone's emotions outside—but we smell no blood, and hear no heart beating. Besides, Edward would hear their thoughts if anyone was near us, vampire or human.

Could it be a punishment for not saving the students sooner? Jasper heard their frenzied emotions—he could have at least been able to save some of the students. And I was getting the visions. Is going crazy a punishment for our bad deeds? Edward is practically suffocating himself in self-hate, so it's not like he's getting it off easy either.

Esme's upset that Edward, Jasper and I are so upset. Carlisle is distressed that Esme is so troubled. Emmett is sad that Jasper and Edward never feel like playing with him anymore. Rosalie is upset that Emmett isn't his usual upbeat self. Thus, making Esme even more upset, and the chain reaction worsens. I really hope it gets better soon.

**Bella's POV**

The drive to Alaska was taking forever, but I luckily had no problem following their trail. There were seven of them in the family it seemed, I know five of them. I wonder who the two others are?

The driving was long, but not uninteresting. I put on the music and enjoyed how much better my ears picked up the little sounds. The way my senses have been heightened is amazing! I enjoy the scent of the earth after the rain, of dirt and woodsy smells. I even enjoy the scent of the car—honey; it definitely smelled like honey. _Lots_ of dulcet honey. It seems to mix in with a lilac-and-sun scent..._since when does the sun have a scent?_ Lavender, moss, and apple permeate the car's fresh smell, unpredictably contrasting with a pear-hyacinth-and-villa scent, making a delicious aroma. Cinnamon, seawater, rising bread, pine... so many smells! And all so delicious! Where are they coming from?

I turned on the radio and heard a news broadcast from Seattle; apparently people are all flocking to Forks to find out the cause of the massacre. I bet they were disappointed I couldn't tell them anything. They seem to be leaning towards a mentally unstable student or some kind of terrorist attack. I wonder what they'd think if they knew it was vampires.

It's best they don't know, though—whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' was definitely not mistaken.

The Cullens; I'm not sure what I think of them yet. Edward murdered a room full of students, and tried to suck all the blood from my veins, so that definitely doesn't put his family in my good books. However—Alice, Jasper, and Emmett seemed genuinely upset that he did it. A notion that pulls them away from my bad list. Thus, leaving them somewhere in the middle. Are they truly good or bad?

I'm nervous to just randomly show up at their door unannounced, but I really need answers as to what being a vampire entitles. Besides, shouldn't they owe me at least that much? I guess not. I mean, I _was_ their food—why would they owe me anything just because I survived?

The scent was getting stronger. It wasn't just the smell of their trail that had began to slowly fade, yet the fresh smell of them; wherever they were residing, it was very close to here.

I continued following the honey-scented trail, pleased that the car I had taken still had a full tank of gas. How many cars did they have that they could afford to leave one behind?

It was nearing dusk, the sky hazy and dark. The stars were shrouded by clouds, and the air had the soothing effect of a refreshing after-rain smell. I could practically taste the honey in the air—even though I couldn't still eat it, I could slightly remember the dulcet taste.

I could see a thinning in the forest up ahead; it must be where they're staying.

Knowing that they were close by, I took the car and shot out of there—I had to park far away. They couldn't know I was here. What if they were bad? What if they tried to attack me? They could hurt me, so I had to protect myself. I had to make sure they were safe to be around before I alerted them of my presence.

Once the car was parked safely miles away, I ran back, climbing up trees to get to their place of residence so my scent would be harder to find. Luckily, it was snowing, and that would also help delude my scent.

I climbed from tree to tree, surprised by my speed. I was no longer the clumsy Bella I used to be; I had agility and balance. Not to mention I was extremely fast and strong. It was actually pretty fun being a vampire—at least, I _think_ that's what I am—I just wish I didn't have to leave my family. I didn't even get to have my first day of school! I barely even spent any time with Charlie, and when I left Phoenix Renee was completely deflated. Then they were both devastated when I was brought on the fringes of death to the hospital room. Selfishly, I wanted to change them both into what I am so that I could still be with them, but I would never force them into this life that I've been exiled to.

My throat began to ache, and I recognized the burning sensation to mean I was thirsty. It was burning badly now; it had been days since I hunted, and apparently this is too long a time to go without blood.

I jumped down from my tree, following the unattractive smell of animal blood to quench my thirst. Two dead deer and one fox later, I was ready to follow the scent to the new Cullen household.

I ran at vampire speed, sliding on ice, crawling through the snow, leading up trees—anything I could think of to delude my smell. It was actually really fun.

Soon enough, the trail ended. A large log cabin awaited my eyes—it was beautiful, standing three stories tall with a large curved balcony on the top floor, as well as a luxurious veranda on the main floor. I stayed where I was, high in my tree, straining my ears to listen to their conversation.

I wanted to know what they had to say about the murder of the students in Forks. I wanted to know more about their diet. I wanted to know if Edward was remorseful. I wanted to know if the family was kind. I wanted to find little hints and details about the vampire life. I wanted to know if they'd accept me if they knew I was still 'alive', one of _them_.

I leaned towards them off of my branch, straining my ears. I heard a pixie voice talking to a man with a southern drawl...

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**So, Bella's going to observe the Cullens for a bit to see if they're safe! What will they do when they find out she's still alive? And that Edward was the one who changed her?**

**I hope you like this idea for my new story!! Review please! (:**


	2. Observation

**Chapter Two – The Dead Girl**

**Summary: **Edward couldn't control himself in biology, not with Bella's dulcet smell. He attacks the room of humans, leaving Bella for last to savour the blood. Then Alice shows up, trailed by Emmett and Jasper. They rip him off the girl to yell at him, and then they quickly began plans to cover this up or get away. They were too preoccupied to notice one human still lay awake—and changing into a vampire. They leave, and the EMT take Bella to the hospital and three days later the morgue. Bella traces the Cullens scent back to Alaska, in need of answers.

"_I leaned towards them off of my branch, straining my ears. I heard a pixie voice talking to a man with a southern drawl..."_

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**CHAPTER TWO**

**Alice's POV**

"Jazzy, do you think he'll ever come out?" I asked my husband sadly.

"You're the psychic, shouldn't you know?" he quirked his eyebrow, smiling half-heartedly.

"As far as I can tell, he has no intentions of ever leaving the confines of his room. Not even to hunt. Although he'll have to do it eventually...the girl he drained wouldn't last him for this long. I _know _he's thirsty. I think he's trying to be a masochist; punishing himself by starvation for what he did..." I trailed off sadly. I missed my brother intently; I hadn't so much as talked to him since that day three weeks ago.

"Yeah, he's definitely thirsty. I can almost feel my throat burning from it...." Jazz sighed. I grasped my arms around his scarred, pale figure. My beautiful soldier. I wish we could be the happy family once again.

We stood in companiable silence, trying to find the answer to fix our problems.

Jasper raised his eyes back to mine, "What is it you're so confused about?"

I stared back at him. Was I confused? No; I was just thinking intently. Hopeless and sad, yes, but not confused. Did I look confused? "I don't know what you're talking about."

He gave me a questioning look, "What do you mean? I'm the _empath_; I _know_ you're confused."

Well, it obviously wasn't my expression that was throwing him off. But I truly wasn't confused—well, now I am, but that doesn't count. "Jasper, when you asked me that I truly was not feeling confused at all. It must be someone else." I encouraged.

"No... Edward's in his room, feeling self-hate, despair, and depression—to name a few. Esme and Carlisle are visiting with the Denalis, Emmett and Rosalie are hunting. The only one left is you." He explained, his brow furrowed.

"It must be Edward, Jazz. He's probably running over scenarios of _what-ifs_. He won't just accept what happened, he keeps trying to find a way around it. I suppose it is better than when he actually _does_ acknowledge that what he's done is permanent and he can never get those lives back he took, because that just makes him more angered."

"But it's not Edward, Alice! I know it's not! And it's not you either—I can feel your confusion, but it isn't the same. This is someone else. If it's not you, and it's not Edward, and if there's none of our family around, it must be someone else."

I looked at him, my eyes wide with terror. "_Jasper!_ Who? Why haven't I seen? Human or vampire?! If it's a human, they better get away—it would kill Edward if his thirst got in the way again! And if it's a vampire, they could be a threat! It can't be a Denali; they all went out of state with Carlisle and Esme for the week."

"I'll go look around." He responded dutifully, turning into soldier mode.

"No, Jazz—you're thirsty too. If it's a human, we'd better hunt first."

"Fine." He huffed, begrudgingly.

And so we hunted, but when we returned the intruding emotions Jasper was feeling were gone.

Not permanently, however; they kept creeping back up on us. And we never found the owner, no matter how many times we looked.

**Bella's POV**

I listened in on the Cullen household. I was always on high alert, ready to dash away on the slightest indication that they were going to come looking for me. My new hearing was absolutely amazing; indescribable. I could hear for miles and miles, even the sound of ants marching beneath the snow-covered grown was able to be picked up by my highly-sensitive ears. A squirrel scurrying across a tree, a herd of deer munching on fresh green leaves, humans sleeping in the distance—their hearts pulsing and beating with delicious blood... I could hear absolutely everything.

And, with this heightened ability, I learned a few interesting things.

One: Alice could see visions of the future.

I remembered her from that day in the biology room, she'd been with another other boy—Emmett.

Her family constantly called her the _psychic._ Then they'd ask if she's "seen a vision", or she'd tell them that she saw one.

I may not understand all the details as to what being a vampire means, but I'm perceptive and analytical. Once I thought about it for awhile, it seemed obvious that she could see the future. That's what all the pieces added up to.

It's amazing the new mind I have with this new life. I don't know if I would have been able to put together all these little puzzles about this family, even with my super hearing, if it weren't for my new spacious, quick mind. I can be thinking of Charlie, Renee, Phil, my old friends, the people I had met that day in Forks High, childhood memories, dreams for the future, aspirations, wants, desires, and of the Cullens all at once. I can never think about too much, although it is easy to get distracted.

It's frustrating, because no matter how hard I try to push the painful memoirs of my past away, they always haunt me. I know there's nothing I can do to make things like they once were. I can never see them again, or be their daughter. Yes, I always will be their child, but I can no longer play the role anymore. Essentially, they are gone for my life forever. Or are they? Is it possible to overcome my thirst and go back to them? Possibly; the Cullens did it. But they'd notice something's different; we are not technically alive. How do we age then?

I don't know, but there must be some long explanation for how's long. The father figure, Carlisle, he seems to be smart. He's probably be able to tell me...if I ever got over my fear and faced them. Not that I'm really afraid of them, more just cautious. Although you would think this would be the last place I'd be after one of them stole my life from me, but they're the only people I can talk to. The rest of their family, besides Edward, really doesn't seem bad though. Edward doesn't even seem as horrible as I once thought.

"_Will Edward ever get better?"_ The lady with caramel hair had asked. Her voice was soft and sweet, absolutely beautiful. It seems like all vampires' voices are melodious like that.

_"I don't know, Esme. My visions are subject to change and the decisions a person makes. Edward certainly isn't changing his mind or making any different decisions right now, and doesn't plan to anytime soon."_

I didn't understand this when I heard it. Did my blood make him sick? Did his family actually hurt him for what he did? What decision does he need to make? What's the matter with him? It seemed that no one was going to be stating the answers I wanted so desperately to hear aloud so that I could understand.

I did happen to hear some different, interesting information. Alice saw visions of me. She told Jasper about them. Isabella Swan, the new girl; Chief Swan's daughter with chocolate eyes and waist-length brunette hair; the girl Edward caused the massacre for. One of their friends, I believe his name was something like Elikizer or Eleazer, called me Edward's _la tua cantante_, which apparently means my blood 'sings to him'. I was more tempting to him than to others...sort of like giving a recovering druggie, who happened to be a heroin addict, heroin. It's a lot more appealing than pot or weed, and a lot harder to resist.

Apparently in these visions I'm part of the family. I'm Alice's best friend, a daughter of Esme and Carlisle, little sister of Emmett, Jasper, and even Rosalie—which is surprising, because she seems pretentious and arrogant to me. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a peeping tom.

But how do I become a part of the family? Will they really accept me? I was a mistake, something never meant to happen. Why would they actually take me in? They're like the perfect family; I'm just a charity case now. Maybe I misunderstood Alice—there's no way I'd ever fit in with this wondrous family.

That's not all there is to Alice's visions, though. For what I've heard, it sounds as though Edward and I are meant to be together.

I don't know what I think of that. Aren't her 'visions' supposed to be shown according to the decisions we make? I've made no decision to talk to Edward, and _he_ thinks I'm dead, so it's not like either of us have decided this. Why would Alice see a vision of it, though?

How could I ever love the man who killed me? He took everything from me. Charlie, Renée, Phil, Jake, Billy, my friends from Phoenix and all my relatives...my entire future he stole from me. I'll never get it back.

He _murdered_ my entire class. He tried to kill _me_! How _could_ I ever forgive him?

Although, even though I may not be happy with what he's done to me, I understand his lapse in control. How on earth did they manage to attend school with all those humans?! My throat was flaming like hell's gates in the hospital! Even now whenever I catch a whiff of a human I'm sent into an animalistic rage. I have to say I respect the Cullens for their resistance. It seems near impossible to me.

From what I've heard, their kind—_our_ kind—is rare. We're 'vegetarians'; golden eyes. Vampires with red eyes drink human blood; the vast majority of them. The only others the Cullens know with their diet are the ones that live here in Alaska; the ones the man Elikizer or Eleazer belongs to..

"_I'm sorry—I'm so, so sorry_." I heard a voice whisper from the back room of the house, sounding smooth as velvet. It was the voice I heard least, yet recognized the most. Edward. My ears tuned into the sound automatically; the extra-sensitive senses even being able to tell from the forest to his room how deep each of this breaths sound, each time he ruffles his hair, every time he shifts position.

Am I stalker? I feel like it. I don't know if that's really what I am though, as I'm doing it to protect my future. However, that doesn't mean I had to spend hours staring through Edward's window into his molten topaz orbs. He is by far the most gorgeous man—human _or_ vampire—that I have ever seen. He has the most beautiful, shaggy hair in the strangest shade of bronze. His face is perfect and angular, with high cheekbones, a strong jawline, straight nose, and beautiful, full lips. He looks to be the youngest of his family, and has a slender but muscular build.

I had been...._observing _them for four weeks now, and I was changed three weeks before that. Thus, making me a seven-week-old vampire.

They did find their car far in the forest eventually. They recognized the scent as the person stalking their house, but they have no idea who it belonged to—although the honey in it made it obvious that it was a vampire. Of course, they'd never guess who. They all still think I'm dead.

....well, _technically_, I am.

As far as I can tell, I have no pulse. I had been searching for it for over an hour when I finally gave up. I should've realized that when my sensitive ears couldn't pick up my own heartbeat, I wouldn't have a pulse either. You would think that without blood, a pulse, or any of the usual things a human has to keep them warm I'd be freezing, but I feel the same as always. Another question I have no answer as to why. Could it be because my skin is so tough that it keeps in warmth? No, that doesn't make sense—I have no warmth to keep inside of me in the first place.

There_ are_ some perks of being a vampire—It's not all bad. Besides the amazing speed and heightened senses: I love that I don't have to use the bathroom! It always took so much unnecessary time, I much prefer it this way. And I don't have to breathe! I can go on endlessly without breathing, it's such fun! I actually broke through the ice in a lake nearby and went for a swim; glacial water feels warm to my icy, granite skin.

Then there are the negatives. The many, many negatives. The thirst—oh, it's _terrible_! I've been very close to killing humans so many times, I'm surprised I was actually able to get away.

The last time I almost killed a human was yesterday. I was a ways away from the Cullen house; out of the city, actually, because I didn't want them to find me while I was lost to my senses. Unfortunately, it seemed I chose an area near humans. They smelled so sweet, so..._ so mouth watering!_ I leapt towards them, the wind tearing through my hair and whipping it behind me. My feet dashed ahead so fast that only eyes of my ability could see them as any more than a blur. I was almost at the humans, too, when I heard a crack. Someone was behind me. I turned around, growling ferally at the intruder. I saw that it was nothing more than a deer.

Luckily, it snapped me out of my trance. I drank it up quickly to cool the burning in my throat, though it didn't stop. I ran far away from that place. Animal blood tastes truly disgusting, but I can't let myself murder humans. That is one thing I'll never do—I'll defy my very nature to keep them safe.

I've been trying to improve my control, but it seems to just be luck that I've managed to not kill anyone so far. I really hope I can continue killing only animals, but I don't know how great of a likeliness there is for that to happen.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier if I'd just knock on the Cullen's door and talk to them; ask them to help me. But I can't risk it. Who says they'd help? Maybe they'd be mad I'm taking prey from their area and finish me off. Or perhaps they'd be upset that I survived Edward's attack. Or whatever else vampires get mad at other vampires for.

I've been watching them carefully; by now I know who all seven of them are and what they look like—their house has many windows. The big one, Emmett, is really funny. Though from what I've heard he's nothing like he normally is—no one is happy like they usually are, all because of Edward's lapse in control.

Edward is berating himself for it. He's so upset! I've realized that is what was wrong with him when Alice was discussion a vision of him not leaving his room awhile ago with Esme.

The day Edward voiced his troubles aloud to himself is one soliloquy I'll never forget.

_"I'm a monster. A real, true monster. I can't believe I did that! How could I lose my control like that?! I had one of the best control of all of us; I was doing so well at resisting! I wish everyone would stop telling me that's it's not my fault and trying to make me feel better— the words "even the best of us fall" is not helping! I murdered a class full of students! I will never, ever attend school again, not after I did that! Why did her blood have to smell so good?! Why couldn't I have at least separated her from the room before I lunged? At least then it would only be one life instead of thirty! I hate my cursed existence! I deserve to burn in hell, or wherever it is we go or do when we're torn apart and burned into ashes! I will never forgive myself for what I've done. I don't even deserve to live with this family anymore—I should just leave! I'm making them all miserable, and I've ruined the title of everything a Cullen is and stands for. I should just go back to being Edward Masen; become a nomadic vampire..."_

His words trailed off, continuing his angry ranting, though eventually he stopped voicing his thoughts aloud. I was very happy that I had been on the narrow ledge outside the wall to his room so I was able to hear his quite words. I was shocked when I heard it—yes, I had heard other family members countless times talk about him or try and make him feel better, but I never knew he actually felt like _that_.

How can I hate the man who stole my human life when he is already so tortured by it? Yes, I miss Renée—my best friend, Charlie—the father I had never really gotten to know, and even Phil. But this life isn't so bad. I mean, I never really fit in with anyone in my human life, and Renée was always too busy doing her own stuff to spend much time with me. She was great, and I love her to death, but life isn't much different without her. I had left her, anyways, to live with Charlie when _this_ happened.

I barely know Charlie, although he's my father we never talked much. Not to mention I could tell me staying with him was going to be awkward after our first conversation coming back from the airport. Thus, I really have nothing to lose by leaving my life behind. I do miss my family very much, but I never fit in there. Maybe I'll do better here. I suppose I won't ever know until I talk to the Cullens...but I'm so _scared_. I don't know what they'll do if I just show up at their doorstep! And now I think on top of all the other reasons for them to hate me, another reason to add to that is I've been spying on them, keeping my presence a secret. They'd recognize my scent as the stalker who has been watching their house.

Yet, they seem like good people! Carlisle is so kind and compassionate, Esme is very loving, Alice is energetic and cheery, Jasper keeps everyone's emotions at bay and provides quiet yet sufficient support for the family, Emmett cheers everyone up and never stops smiling, and then there's Rosalie—although I can't seem to think of any good characteristics for her. She appears to be vain, although I'm sure there's much more to her than that. I have noticed she does seem rather upset at the murders Edward committed, and not just because it stained the Cullen name and because they had to move, but she seemed genuinely upset for the lives lost. Another positive characteristic of hers that I've noticed is that she seems very loyal; she'd go through any lengths to protect her brothers and sisters, father and mother.

It's such a wonderful family! I hope so badly they'll accept _me_—the accident, the unwanted vampire who they unknowingly are bringing into their lives.

**Alice's POV**

"I feel someone again. I can smell them, too. It's the same person. And their emotions are a mess—very conflicted. They're very confused, afraid, broken heartened, and happy—yet sad. They aren't angry or menacing, I don't think they mean us any harm. Perhaps they're a nomadic vampire and want to talk to us, but are intimidated by our large size." Jasper mused, referring to the feelings he was getting off the unknown person watching our house.

"Yeah, I _know_ someone's out there! I wish they'd just come talk to us! I wish they'd know we'd never hurt them, we just want to be their friend! We're good vampires!" I sighed. I was frustrated; Jasper was constantly feeling this unknown person's emotions, and when we asked Edward what they're thinking he told us again and again that he doesn't 'hear' _anything_. But I swear someone is there! And I'm not the only one, because Jasper does too. Our whole family has taken turns looking, but we've found nothing.

We did, however, find one of our cars a ways away from here with the same scent. We already had seven cars, we couldn't bring our eighth—Carlisle's Mercedes, Esme's guardian, Rose's BWM, Emmett's jeep, Jazz's Ducati, and my yellow Porsche. Edward's silver Volvo had to stay behind; it was our least favoured of all our cars (although he has still always loved it very much).

Whoever this stalker is, they know us from Forks. What else do they know about us? How long have they been watching us? What is the _real_ reason they've been watching us? There's so many questions, but so few answers! It's driving me crazy!

The worst is my visions...._ooh_, they drive me _crazy! _I have so many of the girl whose blood smelt exceptionally good to Edward in Forks—Isabella Swan. Visions of her knocking on our door, asking to talk. Of her climbing through my window, Edward's window, Esme's. Visions of us running into her hunting. So many visions! Why do I keep seeing visions of a girl who is dead?

I try to think about it as little as possible, and when I do I block my thoughts from Edward. I've stopped telling Jazz, because I know it'll just be harder to keep it from Edward. It will only make him feel guiltier. But there must be _some_ reason she's plaguing my apparitions—I just wish I knew _what_!

I see hazy visions of her and Edward, walking together hand in hand. They're undecided, far in the distance, yet strong enough that they exist without Edward's consent or decision to walk with...a _ghost_.. _possessed corpse_..._whatever it is that she is._

Maybe I am going crazy! I don't know. I really don't know anything anymore.

All I _do_ know is that I wish I could've stopped Edward that day. I could've saved thirty kids, not to mention my family's sanity, and possibly given Edward someone to love.

How could I, a _psychic,_ have let things get messed up this badly?

**Bella's POV**

This is my fifth week observing them, and my eighth week as a vampire. I've gotten slightly better at controlling my emotions and tempers, at learning my new mind, and understanding my heightened senses. Unfortunately, another progression with my vampiric changes is that my human memories are fading. Soon I'll have nothing to hold on to but hazy, fuzzy pictures. I try to remember them to keep them from disappearing from my advanced mind, thus being forever gone from my mind. I don't want that to ever happen; it's all I have left of my humanity.

It's the fifth week in of observations, I think the time has come to reveal my presence—my existence.

Last week I overheard a conversation Alice had with Jasper. She was talking about how she wished the person watching the house would just come out and show themselves; she wanted to talk to me, be friends with me...and I feel the same about her. Even though she doesn't know I'm alive or that I'm their stalker, I have a feeling we'll be great friends.

The Cullen men are going on a hunting trip—Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. From what I've heard, the reason they're going on the hunt is to try to cheer Edward up and get him back to his old self. I hope it works. He just seems so depressed right now!

"Eddie, c'mon buddy! It's time to go!" I heard Emmett holler from the front door of their home. Then there was a bit of thumping—he ran up the stairs—and then yelling.

"Get off me! I'm not going!" Edward demanded angrily.

"Yes you are, we've already told you that!" Emmett reinforced.

"No, I'm not. You guys should go, though. It'd be good for you. I'd rather just stay in my room." Edward said quietly; sullenly.

"JASPER! GET OVER HERE, WE NEED YOU!" Emmett yelled, though I didn't understand why, as our hearing is quite advanced. Emmett just seems to like being loud.

I heard a light fluttering on the steps. That was Jasper; always quiet and reserved—the exact opposite of anything Emmett.

"You're right guys, I should go. I'm so sorry for being hard to deal with, I'd love to come!" Edward exclaimed sincerely, and all three of them began descending the stairs. Then I heard wrestling.

"JASPER! STOP!" Edward growled.

"No, you need to come with us. Seriously Edward, it's for the best." Jasper told him. From what I could tell, Edward continued struggling, but he was nothing next to Emmett, with Jasper assisting and crippling him with emotions opposite to what he was feeling.

It seemed Edward was fighting hard against both the intruding emotions, as well as Emmett and Jasper's hold.

Carlisle was in one of the black cars, waiting for them with the door open. The three boys tore down the stairs and jumped into the car, zooming away before Edward could escape.

From what I had heard, they already said their goodbyes early. The boys were to be gone for one week hunting somewhere in Canada—they wanted to find Edward some '_tasty mountain lions_'. I wonder what that would taste like...deer tastes rather bland. It's on the edge of revolting, but there's not much that tastes better. Do different animals taste differently..._yummier?_

I guess I should go confront the Cullen girls now—Esme, Rosalie, and Alice. What will they think of me?

I hope I can become friends with Alice; I think she's my favourite Cullen. I also hope that Esme can accept me as a daughter—but I know that's a crazy notion. They don't even know me! I don't even know that they won't attack me when I talk to them! But I do know that there are only three of them now, and this is the safest time to talk to them. I need to seize the chance—"_carpe diem"_.

Jumping off my perch on a nearby tree, I walked towards the house, nearly shaking in fear. _Will they accept me? Will they ever love me? Will they hurt me? Could they ever be my family? Will they tell others about me, and ambush me? What will they think of me?_

Taking a deep unneeded breath, I raised my pale fist to the door and knocked twice.

It was quickly opened—the psychic, of course. Her black hair was in wild disarray—I loved the spikes. She had on very fashionable, high-quality clothing, and her topaz eyes were absolutely stunning. This was the first time I was seeing a vampire up close with my new eyes. She was breathtaking! I know I'd seen Edward before, but that was from across the room, not as close as this. Being so bear with these new eyes really shows me every microscopic detail of her perfect face.

Her smell! It was delicious! Honey, mixed with a floral scent, and ocean! Who would've thought someone could smell of the ocean?!

"_Hello?"_ Her small, pixie voice squeaked nervously; I suppose she didn't see this coming—it was a split second decision. Not to mention that I'm supposed to be dead...

If I were still human, I would've been sweating bullets with my next question.

"Hey Alice, can we talk?"

* * *

**A/N:** I know in Twilight Jasper did not have a motorcycle, Alice did not have her yellow Porsche, Esme did not have a car (the guardian was Bella's "before" car), and the Vanquish wasn't mentioned in Twilight, but I wrote it like this for means of my story. After all—it _is_ fictional.

When I was writing Bella's regurgitation of Edward's words, I couldn't help but think of Midnight Sun's song, "Monster". [[I'm a monster, and a killer—not a sinner, 'cause I have no soul.]] Which, for those of you who don't know, Midnight Sun is a Twirock band. (:

**Special Thanks** to Clouddreamer7 for getting me to write more on how Bella's adjusting to her changes from human to vampire. (I added about 500 words, thanks to her!)


	3. Confrontation

**Chapter Three – The Dead Girl**

Beta'd by edwardnbella4eva09 ! :)

_If I were a human, I would've been sweating bullets with my next question. "Hey Alice, can we talk?"_

**CHAPTER Three**

**Bella's POV**

_"Hey Alice, can we talk?"_

Alice stared at me as though she was looking into the eyes of a ghost. Her sparkling golden eyes were stretched so wide that I thought she'd pop a vein...if that were even possible. She stared brazenly, openly gaping at me. If I weren't so nervous, I would've laughed at her shocked and horrified expression. Really, you'd think a psychic would be more prepared than this, wouldn't you? That is, if she _is _psychic...could I be wrong? No; I don't think so. She just didn't believe her "visions" with me in them; she's unprepared.

It was bright out today; one of those rare sunny days where I could practically feel the warmth wrap around myself like a cozy woolen blanket. Heat on my impenetrable skin feels so _amazing_ now. I remember when Edward bit me his skin was very cold. I wonder if mine's the same way now? That would explain why the skin feels so pleasant; the sun is a convivial touch on my skin. Though, if I were colder than usual, wouldn't I notice the difference? I still feel as warm as always.

"Uhm...Alice?" I questioned, wondering when she'd come out of her daze. Exactly six minutes, 42 seconds, and 17 milliseconds had passed since I first arrived at her door. I wasn't exactly knowledgeable in vampiric rituals and the working of their minds, but I was pretty sure it had taken much longer than it normally should take for someone to reply to a guest at their door.

From where I was standing I could get a nice view of the house—I hadn't been able to glance into the entryway before, as it was hidden from my viewing range due to there being only a door with decorative glass and no windows—the exact opposite of the rest of house, where it was positively decorated in window glasses. Now that I could peer into this area, however, I saw that it was as gorgeous as the rest of the house. I wish I knew which of them had decorated; they were completely moved in by the time I arrived here, so I didn't know who did it.

I heard shuffling in the house; it must've been Esme of Rosalie. I wondered if they had heard me, but it didn't seem likely because I used my hush vampire voice to talk to Alice. Of course, they should've noticed the intensification of my smell, but I suppose they were used to my scent being around by now.

Alice was still staring mutely at me. Was that normal for vampires? Her lips were frozen in a perfect 'o', her body still standing in the same position as when she first opened the door. Was there a reason she wasn't responsive? Can vampires suffer from shock?

She was very beautiful. Her skin was a pale, pallid white; ghostly-looking—the same colouring as my ashen skin. She was small and petite with angelic features. Her lashes were long and sleek, delicately lining her sparkling topaz eyes. Her face was small and round, complete with a button nose and tiny lips. She had jet-black hair, styled in a spiky fashion.

She was dressed in a short black baby doll dress, the stretchy cotton short sleeves to the line under her bust was coloured scarlet. The rest clung to her stomach and flared out loosely past her hips to the thigh, where the midnight black material ended. Separating the red from the black was a wide, glossy grey belt—the same color silver as her knee-length leggings. A large silver heart hung from a long chain—a simple yet elegant piece of adornment. She was barefoot, her nails glistening in the same scarlet as the upper part of her shirt.

"Alice..." I questioned again, wondering when the pixie-like girl would make a move to reply.

Finally, she broke out of her trance.

"B-bella? H-h-how? You're dead!" She gasped.

Despite my nervousness, I had to crack a grin. "Well, it seems that we both are."

She looked at me, utterly confused, seeming as though she was trying to put together a complex, multifaceted, intricate puzzle in her multifarious head—which seemed to be in overdrive, by the baffled expression she had on her face.

Sucking up my nervousness and sentencing my shyness to the back of my mind, filling myself with courage, I took the initiative to make the next move. "So, Alice...aren't you going to invite me in?"

Her bewildered, yellow liquid orbs were locked on mine as she dazedly replied, "Uh...y-yeah...sure..."

However, she made no move to enter the house. I decided to enter without her leading the way. '_These people are good, Bella. You're safe. Be friendly.'_ One side of my mind urged. The other growled, '_Leave! One of them did this to you! They took a room full of student's lives away, and tried to take yours too, leaving you like _this_. Leave before they can do more!'_ I somehow managed to avoid that voice, thinking of all I had observed of this family these past few weeks.

I walked towards the west side of the house into the living room; it seemed to be the more preferred room of the family. It was on the west side of the house—by the largest window; my favourite.

The room was painted a midnight blue color with modern white couches. The floor was a reddish oak hardwood, accenting nicely with the red throw pillows.

I took a seat on the lone armchair, not wanting to make them uncomfortable by sitting on the same couch as them.

The sun filled through the window, causing the room to glisten—including myself. It was odd; I almost seemed to have thousands of diamond facets embedded into every surface of my skin. It was beautiful, an iridescent touch to my bland skin.

I wonder if I look any different now. I know I _feel_ different; my skin is paler—something I would have never thought possible, my scars have disappeared, and with the equilibrium I've gained, I've also received a well proportionate body. You may even be able to call my figure statuesque. Ab muscles I never had before now resided on my flat stomach. My arms and legs were both toned and fit, though nowhere near bulky. My breasts were perkier, round and soft with the lush, feathery skin of this new body. Perhaps I could use one of the Cullen's mirrors; I hadn't thought to look at myself while I was in the car—although I did catch a glance at my scarlet eyes—and the car mirrors weren't big enough to see my whole body, anyways.

I caught a figure in my peripheral vision, and realized Alice was finally moving from her statue-like position at the door. "Alice, I want to talk to the rest of the girls, too, alright?" I asked her still-dazed figure. She merely gave a slight inclination of her head.

"Esme! Rosalie!" I called out, though barely above my regular, conversational voice level. From listening into their family, I knew they'd still be able to hear me at this level. _I hope they don't mind I was listening in..._

A lady with long golden hair descended down the grand staircase. Her eyes were a darker shade of gold—a brilliant brass color. She was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen—of course, I already knew that from my observations, but her beauty seemed so surreal, almost like a mirage. Any confidence I'd gained from my transformation suddenly dissipated. Rosalie was stunning—no, _breathtaking_! No words can do her any justice; her beauty is indescribable, incomparable.

She was Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of beauty. Her legs were elongated and slender, toned and alluring. Her arms, too, were long and muscled, yet delicate. Her body was curvaceous, yet trim and fit. She was the vision of an angel; Cathy Dollanganger in the flesh. Her face was positively radiant, her lips full and eyes captivating, framed in a thick set of dark black lashes, blinding you from everyone else in the room. How could one person be so gorgeous? She was clothed in an exotic, thigh-length dress; it was covered in glistening thread and small jewels. It clung tightly to her body and the neckline was plunging. I could never pull it off but she did with ease. She sauntered towards the room, but before I had a chance to address her, a lady with slightly wavy, curly locks wandered in from the kitchen. It was Esme, the one they considered their mother figure. She seems very nice from what I've seen. Unlike Alice's trendy ensemble or Rosalie's exotic dress, she had on a black, knee length pencil skirt and emerald green blouse. Her figure wasn't as _sports illustrated_ as Rosalie, nor pixie fashionista like Alice. Her style was simple and dainty, elegant yet casual. It reminded me of my mom, Renee, although she was always more eccentric.

This was it; confrontation time. Should I have really come here? I mean, I could have always just watched, learned their ways, and then left them alone. It would have been sad and lonely, but better than being here if they don't want me. What if they wish I had died? What if they hate me for tempting Edward to kill? What if they hate me for being in their area, eating their prey?

Do I even want to be a part of this family? They – he –killed my classmates, tried to kill _me_. They made me into the isolated creature I am. Why should I ever consider wanting to be a part of this family. They're monsters! I should hate them for what they have done, not befriend them! I have always been too forgiving.

It's not the whole family's fault, though. Alice and Emmett tried to stop Edward. It's _him_ who is the real villain. Edward Cullen, killer extraordinaire. He put the burning in my throat; he put the urge in me to kill my own _father_. He took away any friends I ever had or could've ever had, stole my family, stole everything I ever knew. He literally stole my life—and countless other students', although I suppose I'm luckier than them.

Is Edward bad or good? He _sounds_ sorry, but should that matter? He should have _restraint_. He's been a vampire for a whole lot longer than I have, and I've managed avoiding humans in my whole eight weeks! Well, that doesn't really count. I was still transforming when I had humans around me, and I only had to refrain from them for the short ride to my coffin—which I could've broke, but didn't. It took constraint, yes, but I was also distracted by all the new changes in becoming what I am now. Next thing I knew, I was digging myself out of the ground and driving to Alaska. I've only crossed paths with humans a few times—there was plenty around me on those unfortunate hunts where I ended up in the wrong spot or uncontrollably followed the mouth-watering smell, but something snapped me out of my trance each time. I'm just as uncontrolled as Edward is. Why should I blame him?

Because he's older than I am. Because he...he...he _killed_! But doesn't hating him make me a hypocrite, since I myself have been so close to killing, too?

I guess I'll figure out how I feel about him when I see him.

Alice, Rosalie, and Esme were all in the same room as me now, staring at me. Alice still looked bewildered, and somewhat terrified. Rosalie looked positively deadly, and Esme looked confused.

"Why have you been _stalking_ us?" Rosalie spat, her voice hard and gaze piercing. I cringed; I had been hoping for this to come up later—much, much later.

"C-c-can y-you..." I began, but couldn't seem to get my sentence out. _Buck up, Bella! You know these people, and you know Rosalie is the most outspoken of them all. Speak your mind and hold your ground, you won't appear so weak then._ "Can you please take a seat?" I asked the three of them, motioning towards the two-seater and three-seater couches. Rosalie begrudgingly complied, Esme gracefully, and Alice..._numbly_.

Once they sat, all three of us simply stared at each other. All of their eyes were on me, burning holes. I choked back my fears and tried to build up some confidence.

All three sat stock-still, stiff. Not at all like fidgety humans. It was almost intimidating. Their faces were masked in the same expressions, calculating. I braced myself to talk, though I was very nervous.

Alice beat me to it, finally breaking out of her numb haze once and for all. I beamed at her—not knowing if this were a good thing or not, but I just could _feel_ she was a very nice person. I hope I was right, but these feelings usually tend to be true. I've always been very perceptive.

"You...you're Bella Swan, aren't you?" Alice asked meekly, staring me in the eyes.

"Yes." I stated simply, and then heard Rosalie and Esme gasp. I waited for the onslaught of questions, or anger, or whatever it is they were planning to do to me. I was surprised to hear Alice speaking again, no anger evident in her voice.

"But..._how_?" She questioned, looking astonished and full of disbelief.

"8 weeks ago was when a terrorist attack hit Forks. Or a group of aliens. Perhaps a deranged serial killer. At least, that's what the news reports say..." I began ominously, recreating a 'spooky story' aurora, similar to what Jake had done when he first told me about vampires. It wasn't intentional, but rather more of an unconscious gesture. I quickly changed to talking normally, or as close to it as I could get. Who knows who I am anymore, or what is normal for me. I don't know anything anymore.

"I took the seat Mr. Banner pointed to me in class; the one beside Edward Cullen. His eyes were coal black, and he looked _so_ angry..." I trailed off, shivering at remembering the scene of the massacre. "I think I must've wafted my scent to him when I ruffled my hair, putting a curtain of it between us. The next thing I knew he was half way across the room and bodies were lying lifeless everywhere. I gasped, but before the sound even left my lips I was staring into his harsh eyes. He k-k-killed e-everyone..." I stuttered, choking back a sob. Esme looked sympathetic, Rosalie looked angry–yet visibly less, and Alice still looked thoroughly confused.

"It was my blood he wanted. Once he was...d-done...he came for me. He...he _bit_ me..." I whispered shakily, motioning towards the glistening crescent-shaped scar on my neck, where my jugular would have been.

"It hurt. A lot. I felt his teeth slice through my skin, and the sting as he sucked my blood out... I begged for him to stop. He didn't listen." I murmured–reflecting, remembering. I recalled the events like they were a dream. It felt real, it looked real, but it couldn't have been. It was a dream. Except I knew it wasn't. It was a nightmare without the night. Talking about it, sharing my memories, it all felt so _unreal_. I was talking, but it wasn't me. Call it an 'out of body' experience, or pure denial. Whatever it was, it wasn't_ me _talking.

"She came in...Alice. Then Emmett. He ripped him off of me. I used all my strength to keep my eyes _peacefully _closed, to look serene..._like I was dead_. The boys were fighting, and Alice checked for survivors. I stopped breathing...she didn't notice. Things were so hectic...." I breathed calmly, the words light and airy as though it was simply a strange dream I was recalling. Any real thought would make me completely lose the image of the event I was recollecting. The event that seemed to be fading into haziness in my mind, yet still felt so real. Too real to share with true emotion.

Alice, Esme, and Rosalie gasped in unison. I didn't notice; I was still in my trance. "The EMT came. They took me to emergency–not that it did anything. I told them I was burning... I remember screaming it at them, but no one could do anything. They didn't understand. No one could help.  
I counted every second that passed in which I spent burning... three days worth. Finally, my body stopped burning, but rather condensed the feeling and sent it to reside in my throat...and it burned..._so badly. _I heard the doctors say I had undergone physical changes with my illness; my skin was hard as stone and proportionated differently. It was freezing, my heart wasn't beating, and I was dead. They were confused by the changes I went through. They wanted to use me for medical research. Charlie refused. They buried me that same day." I whispered, my voice flat and empty. "I spent the day after the burning stopped to try to put together what had happened to me, what I'd become. I finally remembered my friend Jacob and the Quileute legends...the legends of _'the cold ones'_ and you guys...the Cullens..._it all made sense._ I realized that Edward had bit my neck, he had _sucked my blood. _He was cold, and bore the same surname as the fabled 'cold ones'. I realized I had become like you in my features, too. I had become one of you..._I am one of you._" I shivered, angrily. "I dug myself out of the ground and then went to the forest. The legends stated that you were harmless; you only drank animal blood. Well, I suppose the legend was wrong..." I trailed off harshly.

"But, I used the idea. I hunted animals. It was bitter and near repulsive, but it put the burning at ease. It helped take away the pull I felt for human blood...something I vow never to taste." I cringed, imaging the lifeless bodies in Biology class...the image that has constantly haunted my every thought.

"I followed your scent to your house–the honey, it was a vampire smell. I took your car and followed you to Alaska...I hope you don't mind. I had to get answers..." I whispered, fearing their reactions to my stealing and _stalking_.

"It took me three weeks to get out of the hospital, hunt, find your house, and travel here. I've been watching you for four weeks now...I hope you don't mind. I swear I didn't mean anything bad by it...I just...I had to make sure you wouldn't hurt me." I stated guiltily, staring into my lap. Now was the time to cue the yelling, the screaming, and the accusations. Maybe I should've just stayed away...

I carefully looked at my thread barren clothes. The detail of every fibre was easily visible with my new eyes. I was able bide my time waiting for their upset outbursts by committing to memory the weave of every string on my clothing and how they pulled together to form my jeans, my shirt. It has become extremely torn and ragged from nearly fifty days of continuous wear. Not to mention countless hunting trips in it, as well as living in a forest. I'm surprised I even have any clothes left after all that. Not that you can truly call what's left clothes... At least the male Cullens aren't still here to see my severely-lacking coverings.

Before I was buried, a cosmetic undertaker was brought up. Charlie didn't want one; he wanted me to be natural, as I was never one to get dolled up. I was happy with this decision, too, as it would mean less time trying not to leap at the people's throats. Besides, the worker wouldn't have been able to pick me up to change me, anyways. Not to mention it would be really creepy having someone touch me like that....

After all, I was still alive; I wasn't a real corpse. Or am I? Could that be an alternate definition for 'vampire'? Who knows.

I didn't dare look up into the eyes of any of the three Cullens sitting on the couches in the room. I was a stranger in the home, a stranger who had been watching them, observing them—spying on them. I pretended I was dead, I deceived them. I hunted on their territory, I took away some of their prey. They're going to hate me.

Birds chirped happily outside, and once again I had the déjà vu feeling that everything was so surreal. Outside a different world exists; nature runs its course, the same as always. The birds sing happily, the deer run freely, the sun shines brightly. Children play and parents laugh, teenagers fall in love and old men and women enjoy the retiring of their busy lives. Everything runs so peacefully, so normally. Nobody notices the abnormalcy of my life; I am unseen by the eyes of the world, left to live alone. Alone in a strange world where creatures thought to be mythical exist, and one's entire life can change without anyone's notice.

I drummed my finger against the couch arm. It felt like a strange action—in my eight weeks of being a vampire, I had never once found the need to fidget. No matter what position I was in, I was comfortable. But now the nervousness and worry is eating me alive. The action didn't help, however, and I resumed my stiff position on the couch, again lost to my thoughts of worry and fear.

I awaited the outburst, but it didn't come. I was shocked to be broken out of my reverie by a pair of warm arms wrapping me in a tight hug—Esme.

_Why is she hugging me? Shouldn't she yell at me, or scold me, or...something?! Why is she trying to...to..._comfort_ me?_ I thought confusedly to myself. Over Esme's shoulder I saw the surprised and compassionate eyes of Rosalie and Alice. Rosalie's eyes were alighted with a passionate anger I couldn't identify, and Alice's full of understanding and enlightenment. I suppose she finally understands her visions now.

But, could it really be true? Could I, the queen of bad luck, really have side stepped the anger that should have been their responses, and surpassed to their comforting and approval? I'd mistake it for a dream, if it weren't for the fact I can't sleep.

Esme's arms rubbed soothingly along my back as she held me tight to her body, while whispering "_I'm so sorry dear, so very sorry" _over and over again.

"B-bella? It's really you?" Alice inquired, though she believed it were true, she was still in a state of shock.

"Sure is, Alice. Shouldn't you be the least surprised of all three of you? After all, you did see this coming—you're the psychic." I stated, grinning. It was almost funny to see these three smart women so surprised by my appearance.

Alice looked at me, her expression full of confusion and disbelief.

"How do you know that?!" She demanded, her eyes scrutinizing my face.

"I...I... I told you." I gulped, hoping that, when the realization set in, it wouldn't result in anger. Alice simply looked confused.

"I, uh...remember...I said I was watching you guys for a while, I mean, not in a bad way—" I quickly added, "I just had to know, if, uh...if you guys were safe...okay, I mean, of course you were—are—but..." I trailed off, speaking quickly, hoping they would completely overlook this and forget about it. No such luck.

"Really? How did you know I can see the future just by listening in for a few weeks?" She questioned, not looking angry, but rather curious. Luckily for me.

"Well, you mentioned your visions, and what was going to happen, and decisions not being made and things somewhat hazy. You mentioned me a few times, too, but that always confused you. I mean, I was supposed to be dead. Or at least, a different dead than this." I explained, hoping she wouldn't be offended by my listening in.

"Wow. What did you do, stalk us all day?!" She joked, laughingly. I hung my head in shame. _That's exactly what I did._

"Oh, don't worry! We don't care!" Alice laughed, pulling me into a hug. Esme had finally let go of me a few minutes earilier. Both of them were really nice. Rosalie, on the other hand, I wasn't so sure of.

"Darling, come here, we have to get some proper clothes on you." Esme smiled, helping me off the couch, even though I didn't need it.

"Thank you." I smiled graciously at her. Usually, I wouldn't accept gifts, especially not from strangers, but I _really _need clothes.

Esme led me up the stairs with Alice at her heels. She was excitedly pointing everything out to me. "These are our graduation caps, this is Carlisle's cross his dad used to have, oh—this is _my _room; I share it with Jasper. And that's Rose and Emmett's room, and that one's Carlisle and Esme's..." She trailed off, smiling hugely, jumping up and down like a child in a candy store.

"Esme! I have the perfect thing for her to wear—leave it to me!" She exclaimed, dragging me into the room she labelled as her own. It was large and a light orange color, complete with a king sized bed occupying the middle. There was a large wooden book shelf piled with books, as well as an oak desk and miscellaneous office supplies heaped on it. The room looked very much like it did outside the window, except now I could get absolutely every view I wanted.

She reached into her massive closest and pulled out a knee-length yellow dress with a wide, shiny black sash in the middle. The fabric was shiny and flowed easily, as well as was silky to touch. It had two straps on each side, each around 1 ½ inches wide. It was beautiful, but looked more like a dress for prom than casual around-the-house attire.

"Uhm, Alice...I don't wear dresses." I told her honestly. It just wasn't me.

"Oh, I know!" She smiled, still pushing the offensive piece of clothing towards me.

"Alice, I _really_ don't like to wear dresses." I insisted, pleading with her. She looked towards me sadly, her lower lip jutting out and her large puppy-dog eyes wide.

"Y-you don't want to wear this dress? I picked it out just for you..." She stated sadly, her voice going quiet. She slowly turned back around to hang the odious clothing article back in its proper spot.

Unfortunately, I felt too horrible to just make her put it away. I begrudgingly turned towards her and said, "No, Alice, of course I want to wear it. I just meant I'm not used to it. Here, pass it to me." I smiled, hoping she would get over the little incident a moment ago where I had hurt her feelings.

Luckily, she lit up instantly. "Oh, that's great! Put it on right now, I'll be right back!" She exclaimed, rushing out of the room. I begrudgingly followed her orders, and began to wonder if she had set me up and acted sad just to make me wear the piece of clothing.

I shook my head, deciding she wouldn't go through all that effort just to get me into this dress. This tight, short, irritating dress. I was used to my clothes hanging off of my frame poorly after the change, not fitting snugly to my body like this.

I had barely pulled the piece of clothing on before Alice was rushing back into the room, Esme and Rosalie behind her.

"C'mon Bella! I want to show you how you look! I bet you haven't got a full body view yet!" She exclaimed, pushing me into the large walk-in closest that I was almost scared to enter.

I gasped at what I saw. My skin was completely pearly white all over. All scars were completely gone, my hair was shiny and luscious, and my body was fully proportionate and curvy. I was still as plain as always, but at least a bit more pretty. Except for the eyes. They were a yellow-orange color, though at least it was better than the blood red it had been, screaming at me that I'm not the same person as I once was.

"What do you think?!" Alice sang chirpily.

"When will my eyes stop changing colors?" I asked her. She looked from Esme, to Rosalie, and back to me, squinting closely into my eyes.

"Wow, they're barely red at all! Maybe that's because you said you lost so much blood before you were changed..." Alice trailed off.

"There's not many of us who have our diet out there. It's hard to know for certain, but it takes about one year for eyes to change to the gold color, once your blood has left your system completely and you've lost all your newborn strength. However, since Edward had drained most of your blood when the venom began to penetrate your system, I think they'll change a lot sooner. Carlisle would know better than me, but possibly only a few more weeks, or days, I'm really not sure." She told me, pondering her thoughts aloud. "How were you able to eat animals?" She queried.

"The Quileute legends said that you guys, the Cullens, are acceptable vampires because you don't hurt humans. When I realized what I became, I knew that I didn't want to hurt humans, so I just tried to avoid them at all costs." I commented.

Esme, Alice, and Rosalie looked to each other, seemingly impressed—although probably a bit upset that I knew the Quileute legends whilst I had still been human.

"That's really good, Bella. I'm surprised you were able to do that. You're a really special girl." Esme beamed, and I found myself unable to stop myself from smiling back.

"Here, Bella, let me show you to your room!" Alice exclaimed.

"My...my room?" I asked, confused. I did want to be a part of their family, but I had never expected to be accepted so easily.

"Well, yes, unless you don't want it." Esme backtracked, instantly looking worried.

"No! Of course not! I just didn't expect it. Thank you so much, you girls are all so amazing!" I smiled happily. To my surprise, the three hung their heads.

"We're very sorry, Bella. Believe me, if I could take back what my son did, I would. It really wasn't his fault—you know how bad the thirst gets. Though it's too bad he couldn't control myself. I just wish so badly this didn't have to happen to you." Esme sadly proclaimed.

"It's okay, Esme. I mean, this isn't the life I would've chosen for myself, but we just have to make the best of things. Besides, it's not all bad." I grinned, half-heartedly. This topic of discussion had brought me back to thinking of all the things I was missing by this new life.

Alice, Rosalie, and Esme instantly seemed to sense my change in mood.

"I'm going to kill Edward when he gets back." Rosalie growled, and not just me, but Alice and Esme too, looked up in shock.

"He stole her life! Her humanity! Her everything! The selfish prick!" Rosalie spat. "I've hated him ever since I first met him. He thinks he's so _special_. He always proclaimed how he had the best control beside Carlisle, then he went and killed a whole entire class! A _whole class of humans!_ He exposed us, caused us to move _yet again_, and look what he's done to this girl!" She angrily finished. "He's going to get an earful when he gets back, I guarantee it!" She snarled, glaring towards the room I knew to be Edwards.

"Rosalie, dear, you know Edward already feels bad enough as it is..." Esme began, but Rosalie cut her off.

"Save it, _mother_. If you want to defend your _dear_ son, go for it. But leave me out of it." She barked.

The other two Cullen girls looked shocked, to say the least, but said nothing. Quietly, Alice turned to me. "Come on Bella, let's show you your new room."

I followed, returning her weak smile. Esme told us that she was going to give Carlisle a call. Apparently, the boys were going to be back tomorrow, but Esme had something in Forks she had forgotten and wanted to ask Carlisle to get Edward to pick it up. She was going to drive a car out a ways closer to make it easier for Edward.

She didn't say this all to us, though. I overheard her phone conversation. I knew that she was trying to get me situated before Edward came back, and though I didn't want to be babied, I was happy she was so thoughtful and cared for much for me.

Besides, it was going to be the biggest shock for Edward I was still alive, so it was probably for the best his family got used to me first. _I hope the boys like me..._

My room was a decent size; about four what my small bedroom in Forks was. The walls were a minty green color, and I recognized this to be the guest room. Members of the Denali coven had stayed here from time to time.

"This is your bed, and those are your dressers, and we have a bookshelf downstairs I can get—I know you love to read—and then I have to get you a bedside table too, and better décor of course..." Alice trailed off, listing everything and anything she was planning on adding. She talked quickly, and finally finished by exclaiming that she had to go order me some clothes off the internet. I furiously told her not to, but she ignored me, grabbing a roll of measuring tape and asking Rosalie to help her with it.

I sighed, giving up. I really did need more clothes. But I _would_ pay them back, once I finished high school and got a job. I wonder what they do for a living. I suppose the kids are probably too young to have jobs yet.

Why do they call Esme and Carlisle their parents? They're too young to have given birth to all the kids. I guess they must really be adopted. Esme would make such a good mother, though. I wonder why she hasn't had any kids...

"This is your bathroom, Bella. Unfortunately, you have to share it with my dick of a brother. Since he doesn't share a room with anyone we figured we'd save the space and not add a fifth, unneeded bathroom. If you want, I can just keep his door locked and force him not to use it. He doesn't deserve to be in the same presence as you, let alone use the same bathroom." She told me, her voice edged in distaste and anger.

"Alright, thank you. Really, Rosalie—for everything." I smiled, a true, genuine smile. Rosalie may tend to be more outspoken than the others, but I love her just the same for it. And she's right, Edward really doesn't deserve our pity after the horrible thing he did. _All those lives..._

"It's no problem, Bella. If you ever need anything, I'll be there for you. I know what it's like to have your life ripped away from you." She smiled, and with that she left my room, leaving me to my thoughts. I decided to take Alice up on the offer she had given me earlier, and journey to her room to browse through Jasper's book collection. Maybe it would help me get along with him better if we could relate to similar books.

So, that's what I did. While Esme redecorated my room, Alice ordered me a brand new wardrobe, and Rosalie added many significant, personal touches to my living space, I read. Every single book I could see on his shelf, I took a look at. I could read faster with this advanced mind, and found myself finishing even the longest books in a few hours' time. Most were books on war, but I didn't mind. They were all interesting.

I barely realized it when the next day came and Alice was dragging me into the shower to get ready.

"Come on, Bella! You're going to meet Jazzy today! Oh—and Carlisle and Emmett too. But we have to get you ready and looking perfect!" She giggled, dragging me around from place to place to get ready. That was my first encounter with what she gleefully nicknamed "Bella Barbie". Unfortunately, it seemed as though she planned to make this a regular thing.

Rose—the name she had told me to call her—did my hair, and Alice my makeup. Esme surprised me by putting a bookshelf in my room and stocking it with a pile of her favourite books that she had ran out and got for me some time during my short stay. Rosalie gave me an iPod full of her favourite music—most of it dance, such as Lady Gaga or the Pussycat Dolls.

Then, much to my surprise, they announced that they had ordered me a laptop and that it should be in within the day—apparently, they had _connections_. I told them it was all too much, but they wouldn't listen.

I really have to get back to school so I can get a real job and pay them back.

Alice handed me an oval locket with Cullen crest on it—Alice had a choker with the same emblem, Esme a bracelet, and Rosalie a pendant necklace. I was shocked they had so quickly gotten me one, and were already so willing to call me one of their family. I couldn't contain my smile.

"What's on the inside?" I asked the three smiling girls.

"Open it!" Alice proclaimed, and so I did. On one side was a family picture of all the Cullens, and on the other a picture of the four of us. Alice had insisted on getting that the night before, sometime during the middle of my reading. I didn't pay much attention to her excited outburst for a photo then, but now I understand what it was for.

'_Crazy, overexcited pixie'_ I laughed to myself.

"Oh, they're here! They're here!" Alice exclaimed, rushing downstairs. We followed, though I had yet to hear the sound of the engine or smell their scents.

"Alice...I don't see them, hear them, or smell them." I told her hesitantly. I didn't want to burst her bubble.

"Oh, Bella!" She rolled her eyes, "remember what you said yesterday? I'm the _psychic_—of _course_ I know these things."

"How much longer will they be?" Esme asked.

"Half an hour."

"And you called us down _now?!_" Rosalie exclaimed unhappily. Alice paid her no heed.

"Of course! The guys don't know about Bella yet, so I thought we'd have some fun with them by sitting on the couch and playing some video games while they show up. They'll be mighty confused about why we have a stranger in our house who we're so comfortable with—and you should see their faces when they realize who she is! Oh, let me tell you what they say!!" Alice laughed, jumping up and down.

"Alice." Rose scolded, and Alice smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. Don't worry, I'll stop. But really, you should be excited!" She exclaimed, sitting down to take a spot on the couch in the family room. We followed suit, putting on a game of rock band.

Thirty minutes later, on the dot, the front door was opened...

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Happy third chapter! I hope it was as good as you expected. (:


	4. Anticipation

Chapter Four – The Dead Girl

**CO-WRITTEN by ****edwardnbella4eva09 **

**Beta'd by Lola84 (her main profile is on Twilighted).**

Special thanks to Timunderwood9 for the amazing advice. =]

"_Thirty minutes later, on the dot, the front door was opened..."f_

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**CHAPTER Four**

**Bella's POV**

The first person to walk through the doorway was a lean, attractive man with dark blonde hair and more mature features than the other two men who followed. I recognized the first to be the leader of the family, Carlisle Cullen. He was the most compassionate of all the family members, as well as the oldest. I remembered the first time I had heard him speak during my first few days of observing the family:

"_Edward! How could you? Apart from Carlisle, you are the oldest of us all, and the most controlled. Look at what you did! How could you ever do such a thing? To us, to your family, even to those _humans_?!" Rosalie spat at Edward as soon as she had heard what happened._

_"Rosalie, stop. He feels bad enough as it is without you going at him. Please, respect his feelings. I know what he did was upsetting and isn't easy to overlook, but you have to consider his feelings." Carlisle urged his eldest daughter._

Next inside was a wiry yet muscular boy with honey blond hair hanging over his eyes. I knew his features well, as I had watched the daily activities of him and his family for the past eight weeks. However, he had one feature I hadn't noticed before—at this distance, it stood out by far the most of everything about him. His skin was ravaged by scars all along his exposed neck and jaw. They looked like overlapping half-crescent moons covering his alabaster skin. The very sight of them made me tense up automatically, though I knew him to be a gentle man who would never harm me. Well, unless the Cullen men weren't so happy about me encroaching on their territory. Jasper was the empath; he was the one who could always feel my intruding emotions that he knew did not belong to any of his family—something that caused him to be endlessly confused. He was together with Alice.

Following Jasper was a bulky, muscular man with dark, curly brown hair. A large dimpled smile adorned his face. This burly, jolly one – his name was Emmett – was Rosalie's man. As far as I could tell, he didn't have a special gift, but he could always make people happy. That skill had been particularly useful over the last couple of months when, due to the bleakness of the situation, the family needed it most.

Nervously, I watched the group come in. I was pondering what to say to them and what they would say to me. Yes, the women accepted me and weren't angry—but what about the men? What if they get the girls to change their minds? What if they all hate me? What if they're angry with me for allI'vedone? Will they hurt me?

"Who's that?" Emmett asked, staring curiously at me. I noticed Carlisle pass a knowing look to Esme, but he himself looked timid and remorseful.

I took in a shaky breath, though the air did nothing. My dead heart was imaginarily beating rapidly, my nonexistent pulse quickening. My insides were full of butterflies and jello and it made me feel sick and wobbly.

"Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle—this is the newest addition to our family. Besides Carlisle, you both have met her before. Her name is Bella Swan." Esme smiled, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"B-bella?" Emmett stuttered, "But, the only Bella Swan I've known died back when Edward....y'know..." He trailed off.

"Bella? Isabella Swan? The chief's daughter? But—how? Emmett and Alice were all there—she didn't make it...this must be someone else. I don't remember ever seeing this girl." Jasper answered carefully.

Esme looked unsurely at me, and I nodded my head in encouragement.

"Why don't we all go sit in the dining room to discuss this?" Esme asked, making her way to the large wooden table without waiting for reply.

"C'mon, Bella, Sit with me!" Alice exclaimed excitedly, dragging me quickly after Esme.

"Alice!" Rosalie hissed. "Let the poor girl go!"

Alice shot her a glare, her tone significant and her lip pouting at me, "She doesn't mind, _do you_Bella?"

"No, that's, uh...fine." I smiled weakly, still panicking over what was going to happen next.

Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper soon joined us at the table.

"Bella! Meet Jazzy, my husband!" Alice suddenly exclaimed, pushing her chair and motioning between us. "Jazzy, meet Bella!"

"Uh, hi..." I said hesitantly, giving him a small smile, which he returned.

"Hello." was his equally awkward reply.

To the right of me I felt Rosalie shift in her seat so I turned to look at her. "Bella, meet my husband Emmett. Emmett, this is my friend Bella." She smiled as we nodded to each other politely.

I hadn't expected to start out with introductions, but I found myself happy they were doing so, as it was nice to have _some_ civil conversation with them before they forcibly tossed me from their lives forever.

A man cleared his throat, obviously an act to get our attention since it served no other purpose. It must have been a habit picked up from being around humans. I turned towards the sound, meeting the topaz eyes of the family's father figure.

"Hello, Bella. It's very nice to meet you, though I am eternally sorry for the circumstances under which we have been brought together..." He trailed off, giving me a meaningful gaze. "My name is Carlisle, and I'm the head of this family." He smiled.

"It's very nice to meet you, sir."

"No, please, call me Carlisle."

I smiled, repeating aloud the name—"Okay, _Carlisle._"

"Bella, would you like to tell them your story, or should I?" Esme asked sweetly. As much as I didn't want the men to have to hear the story, taking the risk that they would forever hate me, I knew I had to tell them myself.

"No, I think I can do it." My lips curved upwards weakly, but I gained confidence with the realization that Carlisle already knew at least a part of my story, as Esme had been on the phone with him and most likely explained her reasoning for asking Edward not to come straight home. I inferred this from the caring looks he was giving me and the knowing words he'd already said.

If it were really true—if Carlisle had already decided he approved of me, then how much harder would it be for Emmett and Jasper to do the same? Besides, Alice and Rosalie were _married_ to them, so they should have some influence on their opinions. Or, at least, I hoped so.

_Aren't they way too young to be married, though?!_

"Well, as you already know, my name is Bella. Eight weeks ago was my first day of school. I had Biology after lunch—the same class as your son Edward. He seemed to be very attracted to my...uh...the scent of my blood....and he...well...you know that part of the story. After he..._finished_ with the class, he bit me. He would have killed me, too, if Alice and Emmett hadn't come in right then." I paused, motioning to each of them in turn. "Emmett pulled him off of me and managed to keep him away. Alice checked for survivors, but I stopped breathing and closed my eyes because I didn't know what would happen if she knew. Most of my blood was gone then, so it would have seemed as if I'd died—there was too much going on for any of the three to realize my heart was still lightly beating." I paused, deciding what to say next. I noticed both Emmett's and Jasper's faces were filled with shock. Carlisle, too, was staring at me intently.

"I was taken to the hospital and declared dead when my heart stopped beating, though I was just acting. I was still so confused trying to figure out what I had become that I was able to use those feelings to override my powerful feelings of desire for their...._their blood_." I winced, thinking about the possibility of losing control and hurting Charlie—or anyone else, for that matter. "The doctors didn't understand my death; they said it was one of the strangest cases they'd ever seen. Instead of deteriorating, my body seemed to be improving. I lost my color and my pulse weakened, but my body became healthier. They thought the case seemed similar to that of someone who had died from the cold; their pulse slowly stops beating until the very end, when the blood suddenly bursts at their heart, sending a pulse of heat through their bodies before they die. Of course, there was no way I could have frozen to death. They discussed other theories, too, and wanted to do tests on me, but Charlie—my dad—was able to use his status as police chief to let me "_rest peacefully_". I was buried in Forks Cemetery, still alive—or whatever it is we are—and still acting. I broke out of my coffin during the night and crawled through the ground out into the forest. I went hunting and came across your family's scent, which I followed to your old home. I borrowed your car—I hope you don't mind—" I quickly added, worried that would upset them. My nerves increased as I realized I would have to relay my story of stalking them now.

Feeling an intense wave of calmness and confidence shoot through my body, I suddenly stopped fearing their reaction and felt myself begin to be able to tell my story fully without worry.

"I came here to Alaska, following your scent. I didn't know if you were good or bad; the first impression I received from you didn't exactly ease my worrying. I needed answers, but I didn't know if it would be dangerous to confront you. I listened in to your home to determine the character of your family, and learned that you're good people who made a mistake. Though, it took seven weeks of observation after my first week of becoming what we are to decide this. When you boys left for your hunting trip, I thought it was the best opportunity to confront your family with the least possibility for you to hurt me. And, well, now we're here." I ended my tale, smiling cautiously. I wondered where this sudden newfound confidence came from—not that I didn't like it.

That's when I remembered Jasper—he had the ability to influence other's emotions. That's probably what happened to me; I certainly wouldn't normally have that kind of confidence. I didn't exactly like my emotions being toyed with, but I suppose it was done with good intentions. I decided I should send Jasper a grateful smile, anyway.

When I looked up to do just that, I saw that both his and Emmett's faces were full of shock and sadness—Carlisle's too. Even Esme, Rose, and Alice looked sad and they had already heard my story once before.

No one said anything. The boys continued to look at me with the same expression; the girls were at a loss as to what to say. What do you really say to that? I decided it would be best if I talked next, taking the weight of what to say off of their shoulders.

"So, uh, Esme, Rose, and Alice offered for me to stay here. I hope you don't mind..." I trailed off nervously. They didn't _seem_ mad, but people's moods can be unexpected.

Another wave of confidence shot through me, and I instantly looked up to meet Jasper's eyes. His gaze was remorseful, as though it were him who had done this to me, rather than his brother.

"It's not your fault, Jasper—and you couldn't have done anything about it. Even if you _did_ feel his emotions, you trusted him enough not to do what he did. There's no reason to feel sorry for that. Yes, lives were lost, but there's nothing we can do about it now. It's not your fault you are what you are, and you shouldn't punish yourself for _his_ slip up. Yes, you should definitely train yourself more before you're around humans again, or at least, _he _should, but really—you need to stop blaming yourself. I know you've been taking the guilt on yourself—everyone has been doing that, actually; blaming themselves for this. But the fact of the matter is _we can't change the past_—we can only change the future." I explained optimistically, ending my quiet speech to Jasper. However, it seemed he wasn't the only one listening. All six faces of those in the room were looking at me, eyes full of awe. I cringed away from the attention. Jasper noticed and calmed me; I sent him a wave of gratefulness—testing out his gift. He seemed to nod in acknowledgment.

--x--

The day passed comfortably after that. The Cullens gradually became more comfortable around me and acted less guilty. I was thankful I wasn't being pitied so much, as I found it more irritating than anything else, though I knew it was only from good intentions.

They tossed around random stories about things that had happened to each of them in their lives together so far and I found myself laughing uncontrollably with them. I hadn't felt so happy in so long—if ever. I never fit in anywhere; I was always the odd one out, but I finally felt _at home_.

Even though they were all very welcoming and gracious, I could still tell that they were still somewhat cautious around me. I had a feeling it was because they thought that I had yet come to terms with my new life and everything that I had lost: my family, my friends—few as there were—and just my normal, _human _life. But what they didn't realize was that I had already thought all of this through. I knew what I had lost, and I knew upon whose shoulders the blame should be placed, and it definitely wasn't any of _these_ Cullens. Alice and Emmett had tried to stop Edward in biology. Alice saw what was going to happen through her visions, Emmett understood and followed her. They tried as hard as they could to stop it. If Rosalie had known, I had no doubt she would've tried to save me from this life, too. If Jasper hadn't been affected so deeply by the bloodlust, I'm sure when he felt Edward's emotions he would have come running as well. Esme already loves me dearly; she has already told me about what happened to her little baby and why she's so maternal now. I could never hate her for what happened to me. Carlisle, too, is a good man like the rest, and he has vowed never to change anyone who wasn't dying. This would go against everything he stands for. I know it's none of their faults; they're all good people.

However, that couldn't be said about everyone in their family. No, I knew who was to blame for this half-life. It was the one Cullen who, as of this moment, was nowhere to be seen. Edward Cullen.

It was with all of these thoughts running through my mind that I didn't seem to realize I was quickly closing in on the marble staircase that led down to the main floor. For some reason, even with all the extra space in my head, it just didn't register. Thus, before I could snap out of my musings, I suddenly found myself falling face first down the stairs, landing flat on my stomach with a huge _boom! _at the bottom. Figures; I become insanely beautiful, nearly indestructible, and yet I _still _manage to be a klutz.

That's when I heard the loudest, most booming laughter I'd ever heard in my life. I was positive that if I were human I would have gone deaf from its volume.

I looked up from where I was laying idly on the floor to see Emmett's massive body hovering over me.

"OH. MY. WORD." he exclaimed in between his fits of laughter. "How in the WORLD did you manage to do that? I have never ONCE seen a vampire even _stumble_. Yet you manage to fall down a whole flight of stairs!" He laughed rambunctiously, the roaring sound bursting from his mouth vociferously, deeming him unable to continue his taunting speech.

Embarrassed as I was, I couldn't help but feel elated by Emmett's laughter. Even he had been cautious around me over these past few days, and it felt good to see him so carefree in my presence.

I swiftly rose from the floor and realized I had some kind of white powder all over myself. Emmett seemed to notice this at the same time as me. I watched as he looked up towards the stairs and was sent into yet another fit of laughter. I curiously followed his gaze. My body fell rigid in horror as I realized two things… one, there were huge chunks missing from various sections of the stairs; two, the white dust that I was covered in _was_ those missing parts, ground into fine powder-like particles under my strength. Esme was going to kill me. If I can even be killed. I was really beginning to like it here, too.

I was about ready to die from terror, shock and embarrassment. Emmett, of course, couldn't stop himself from making it even worse.

"Hey, look everyone! I found the only clumsy vampire in existence!" he boomed, grinning boisterously. My anger flared up, but just I was about to pounce, his next words stopped me. "It's okay, sis, we all knew you were a little special from the get-go."

Sis. He had called me _sis. _I felt the prickle behind my eyes of the tears that would never fall at that one, little word. I would have expected it from Alice, or even Rosalie, but to hear it come from Emmett made me feel like I belonged even more. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to connect with the male Cullens the way I had with the girls. I then realized that I just had to appeal to their different styles.

Well, I thought to myself, one down, two to go. Let's just hope this stairs incident doesn't do any damage to my relationship with Esme.

I decided that I could really use some alone time in my new room. I passed by the bathroom on my way, and I began to wonder something. Why do they have toilets in their bathrooms? It's not like they need them. How often do humans really come over? I suppose if they did want to resell it, potential buyers would be a little confused as to how a house could be lacking toilets. _Grand Alaskan home, large three story with five+ bedrooms and five bathrooms—no toilets._

Speaking of toilets, why haven't I had my period yet? I'm, well, six weeks late. And I _know_ I'm not pregnant—I'm still a virgin! Maybe vampires give birth differently? Hopefully however it happens for them, it's a lot less painful. Those pregnancy videos they showed in school have scarred me for life. Though, I'm not sure if I wanted kids anyways.

"Hey, Bella! Come on! Let's play dress up! I just _have_ to see what colors look best on you!" I heard Alice's voice carry down easily from the floor above me. And I had _thought_ I was going to be getting some quiet time; perhaps I should have been more forceful when I had said I wanted to be alone. Somehow, I think the pixie of a girl would've disregarded what I said and done what she wanted to do, anyways.

After yet another round of "Bella Barbie" I walked back down to the main level alongside Alice. She had decided that sapphire was my best color, so I donned a dark blue baby tee and a pair of light blue skinny jeans. My feet, too, received a new covering; vinyl flats the same shade as the ill-fitting top. Since when is clothing supposed to look like a second skin? All in all, my finished ensemble made me look like one giant blueberry. I thought about telling her that, but I didn't. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. Strangely, she seemed to know what I had been thinking as she passed me an icy glare, stating "That juicy couture tee is _beautiful_. Don't you dare insult it! You look amazing in it, and I've taken courses in fashion so I know this!"

Rolling my eyes with my back turned, I ignored the outburst. Though I did have to wonder where she fit in the fashion course with school, but I suppose with our intelligence she could have fit in online classes or night school easily.

"Bella, dear, how would like to help me with some painting? I'd like to make some pieces for our home to make it homier and personalized." She smiled fondly.

"Oh, I don't think I can paint," was my honest response. Painting or drawing has never been my forte. Reading and writing have always been more my thing.

"It really isn't very difficult. I feel like some abstract pieces would really accent the kitchen's west wall by the table. I was thinking that three portraits would be nice. All you really have to do is dip your brush into the paint and make any sort of design that inspires you." Esme smiled lovingly. I couldn't help but beam back and eagerly accept her offer—even if I thought my painting would be the worst piece of art she had ever seen in her life.

In no time, Esme and I were lying on the basement floor, a large piece of white cloth beneath us, splashing paint on canvas and laughing like there's no tomorrow. They say children laugh on average four hundred times a day, but adults only fifteen. We need more fun in our lives! My painting was a slop of black paint spread thinly across the page as a large circle. I had a few squiggles of red on two of the sides, and slashed white paint in one corner. Six bright orange dots colored the dark page, illuminating it. I had thin wiry lines of green and brown coiling around the edges and proceeding to the centre like vines. It wasn't looking half bad, though I couldn't say it looked like much. Perhaps with Esme's house I could get better at art.

"So, Esme, how did you become...what we are?" I questioned hesitantly, unsure if this was an appropriate question to ask.

"When I was sixteen I climbed up a tree, but I fell out. My parents rushed me to the hospital and I was treated by Carlisle—well, Dr. Cullen at the time. It was his last month in town, though, so I didn't get to see him again." She sighed, but continued. "When I was a few years older—when all of my friends were married—my father pressured me to get married to his friend's son. My father thought the man had a good future ahead of him, but I never actually loved the man. His name was Charles Evenson. When we were married, though, I learned that he was much different at home than in public. He began to abuse me. When he left to fight in the army I was overjoyed, but all too soon he came home. Shortly after that I found out I was pregnant; I decided to run away. I didn't want my baby to have to live the same way I was living. Unfortunately, my little boy died just a few days after he was born of a lung infection. He was all I had left. I jumped off the cliff outside town. Carlisle was there, though, and he remembered me from years before when he had treated me. He didn't want me to die, so he saved me. I've never been happier." Esme grinned.

I sat stunned. How could _I _think my life was bad just because I had to grow up fast, had little friends, and my family was split up? This poor woman! Pretty much forced to marry, then abused, and finally run away with her child only to have him die on her. How could she deal with that?! I unconsciously stretched over, immediately pulling her into a firm grasp. Her petite body clung to mine as we embraced.

"I still miss him, you know. I wonder what his first word would have been. When he'd take his first steps, when he'd grow out of his cloth diapers. I wondered if his hair would be curly or straight and if he'd prefer reading or arithmetic. I wonder if he'd ever ask about his father. I wondered if his father would ever meet him—or my parents, for that matter. I wondered what his hobbies and pastimes would be, what types of mischief he'd get into, who the first girl he liked would be, who he'd marry, if I'd have grandchildren—and if I did, what they would look like. Oh, Bella, I miss him so much! I can't believe all of that could be just taken from him, from me, just like that! Life isn't fair." She whispered sadly, her body wracking in sobs on my shoulder. I tried to comfort her best I could. I wanted to ask her why she and Carlisle hadn't had kids, but I didn't think now was an appropriate time for such a question. Instead, I settled for soothing the woman who was so quickly becoming a maternal figure to me—more so than Renée ever was. What did she look like again? Brown hair, brown eyes, right? My thoughts on her seem rather hazy….I wonder why? Shouldn't they be getting stronger since I have this improved mind?

Esme pushed herself off of me quickly. "I'm so sorry, dear. I never meant to get like that on you." She told me embarrassedly, her eyes cast downward.

"Nonsense, Esme. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

She smiled back—one of those true smiles that you _know_ comes from the heart. "Thank you, Bella. You know, I already love you like a daughter. I was never able to have kids of my own, but those in this house I consider my own blood—and you're one of them."

Her expression was true and meaningful; my body filled with warmth. She _wanted_ me, she _loved_ me—already! I couldn't wipe the beam off my face.

So, she mustn't be able to have children. There must have been complications after birthing her first child. She could always have adopted, however. Though I suppose that might be hard if we're temped by human blood. What about adopting vampire children? I haven't seen any yet, but they're obviously out there. But—if vampires have children, are they vampires? Or are they human since they have yet to be bitten? I'll have to remember to ask about that later.

"BELLIE!! Come hunting with your big brother Emmie _now!!_" A voice boomed down the stairs, not bothering to lower it even though our hearing was perfect and I could have heard him, in his normal voice, much farther away from his position on the half-crushed stairs.

Wait….they're fine now. Did they really fix it so quickly? I completely forgot about that! Esme wasn't even upset! What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful family? I'll have to find a way to repay them somehow.

One day, when my thirst is finally under control—like Carlisle's—I'll visit my parents once again and tell them all about my family. What will I tell them, though, to hide what I've become? Why I left them? Why I look like I do now? I'm sure one of the Cullens will have some ideas. I just have to ask.

--x--

After I got home from hunting, I realized that I had yet to talk, and I mean _really talk_, to Jasper. We exchanged a few pleasantries here and there, but other than those rare occasions he was always so quiet and reserved. He tended to blend into the background compared to the others' eccentric behavior. He truly reminded me of myself – shy and introverted.

As I passed the living room on my way into the house I saw Jasper sitting on the couch reading; I saw my chance and went for it. I was nervous to speak to him—all of those scars were intimidating— but I was determined not to let that show through.

I should have known that, of course, it would be impossible to keep my feelings from Jasper.

"What's going on, Bella? Why are you so nervous?" he asked, looking up from his book.

I slowly made my way over and sat down next to him on the couch. No turning back now.

"Well, I, uhm, was just thinking about how we haven't really had much of a chance to talk..." I trailed off. I looked down to the book that was now closed and resting on his lap. _Pride and Prejudice._ It was one of my favorite books from when I was human.

"You like Jane Austen?" I asked, shocked.

"It's alright. I prefer books on war, but she isn't half bad." he laughed.

Pulled in by his comment, I plopped myself down for some more conversation. Hours later, I found myself still in Jasper's study surrounded by his enormous reading collection.

"How about this one?" he asked, holding up a near brand-new copy of a book I knew well; though my copy was much more battered.

"Oh, I love _Wuthering Heights_! It's one of my all-time favorites!" I gushed, staring at the beautiful piece of reading material. It was one of the few items in this large house that actually screamed _home_ at me.

"Really? You like _this_ book? It was horrible!" Jasper cringed, staring at me in horror.

"Yes! How could you possibly not like it?!" I demanded crossly. Jasper and I had been discussing books for hours ever since Emmett and my hunting trip—which was rather interesting. I swear he knocked down a whole sector of the forest trying to show off—and goofing around. At least it made the stairs incident look less horrible.

It was fun hunting with him, though. Much better than doing it alone. I also didn't have to worry about accidently coming across a human as I had before, because I knew Emmett and his massive muscles could easily stop my weak figure. Yes, I was much stronger now than as a human, but nothing compared to Emmett. Especially now that the small amount of human blood left in me after the change had nearly all been used. _So much for incredible 'newborn' strength._

"It's so frustrating! Catherine and Heathcliff should've just gotten together rather than have all the drama happen and making their lives, and everyone's lives around them, miserable. As unkind as Edgar was to Heathcliff, I would rather Catherine have been with him and happy—even if it meant making Heathcliff unhappy. At least then she could make one of the men who loved her pleased. But, _no_, she chose social ambition over her true love, thus causing nothing but problems. Who would want to read a book like that?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, at least it's realistic. Most books and their fairy-tale happy ending are anything but." I muttered lowly.

Jasper looked as though he were about to reply when his face suddenly lit up. "Oh! Have you read _1984_?" He eagerly asked.

I sighed; from what I had learned over the past few hours, Jasper was a major history junkie. If there was anything that could force his hand to pick up a book, it would be a history-related title. Truly, I swear he thought he lived through the last couple centuries of history by the heated way he'd talk about different events. He seemed to have a strong patriotism for the confederates—when I told him I was 100% for the Yankees, I swear if the phrase "_if looks could kill_" were true, it would even kill an already-dead vampire—and that's saying something.

"Are you guys going to be discussing that _forever_, or will one of you find the time to join us?" A voice rang from the doorway.

"Nope, Bella will be by your side in about 24.7 seconds." The other voice sang.

"What would you like, Rosalie?" I asked the first voice, who was still out of view from my position in Jasper's alcove containing his small library and study area.

"I was wondering if you'd like to look at the cars with me and just hang out. You've been with Jasper in there for nearly a day!" Her voice called.

_Had it really been that long?_ It seemed so much shorter! Though I do remember the sun falling, and then rising again. Shouldn't I have at least noticed the time pass? It seemed so much longer just a few days ago that I had never set foot in this house.

"I'm sorry! I didn't realize! Of course I'll join you!" I called, quickly jumping up to join her. "See you, Jasper! That was a lot of fun—we should do it again sometime!" I beamed, following Rose towards the garage. However, I noticed one of us was missing.

"Hey, Alice, aren't you coming?" I called to her.

"No…you've kept Jazzy from me for much too long…" she smiled coyly. From the ornate fluorescent light I could see her shadow pounce towards the direction where Jasper would be. I walked quicker with Rosalie towards the garage.

Beside me, a chime-like laugh broke me out of my thoughts. "You look live you've seen a ghost, Bella!" Rosalie choked.

I frowned unhappily. Did she have to laugh at my expense? "I, uh, I didn't, I mean…it's not, or, I don't—" I stuttered, trying to form a coherent sentence. She waved me off.

"No, it's alright, but you'll have to get used to it. You can't be modest about _sex_ in a house full of vampires. Especially with Emmett and I in it, I'd say we're the most vocal, and the roughest…." She trailed off proudly, winking ostentatiously. My cheeks burned crimson.

…or, I thought they did. Then I learned it was my imagination creating false images—but, same idea, right?

"Well, that's, uh…that's…_nice_?" I stated questionably. How does someone reply to that?

"Yeah, it certainly is _nice_…" Her husky voice breathed alluringly, causing my eyes to widen like a sick puppy.

Her hands shot up placatingly, "Fine, fine, I'll stop."

I decided to switch the subject quickly. Though she told me she wouldn't continue, the amused smirk on her face told me otherwise. "So, Rosalie, what are we going to be doing in the garage?"

She huffed, "You can _stop_ calling me Rosalie! That's _much_ too long of a name—well, unless you're Edward—he can choke on it. But you can call me Rose; it's much shorter, and—well—warmer." She smiled charmingly.

"Ok… _Rose_." I chimed, though what she just said kept replaying in my mind. '_Well, unless you're Edward—he can choke on it.'_

We quickly reached the garage and Rose began working on the Volvo; apparently, they decided to fix it up since it was here; now that they know who exactly it belonged to and what happened to it, they thought there was no better time than the present to use it again.

According to Rose, this was _Edward's_ car.

She was showing me how to tune the engine, replace tires, and all that fancy stuff that made cars run like a knife on butter. Unfortunately, even with my vampire capabilities, everything seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Perhaps because I had absolutely no idea anything about cars. Or, more likely, because I had an aversion to this certain car. My mind was plagued with memories of a hazy Edward, glaring at me. Murdering my classmates. Trying to kill _me_.

"Uhm, Rosalie…" I began hesitantly. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to ask, but I knew I had a lot of questions. I didn't know who better to ask than Rosalie.

She shot me a glare.

"Oh, I mean, _Rose, _sorry!" I corrected myself.

She smiled sweetly, "Yes Bella?"

"I was just, uh, just wondering…what is Edward _normally_ like? Is he nice? Or really mean? Has he killed like that before? Does he even follow your diet? Does he really care about humans? Is he a family person, or does he always keep to himself? I know I've been watching you guys, but from your view—what has he been like since the _incident _back in Forks? Does he ever plan on doing something to make up for what he did—if it's even possible? What would he do if he knew he didn't kill me—that I'm still alive? Would he be angry? Do you think he'll try to hurt me? Is he normally aggressive?" I questioned quickly, the questions shooting off my tongue like rounds from a .44 caliber gun.

"Slow down, there!" She exclaimed. "Well, I'll tell you all you want to know. When I was first changed—after my _fiancé _and his friends raped me and left me for death—" she growled angrily, and I sucked in a gasp. _How could I ever possibly think my life had been—is—nothing but a walk in the park! I can't believe it—Rosalie! How could someone ever do that?!_

"Edward was already there. Carlisle changed _him_ because of some flu." She spat. "Esme was already with him. Carlisle hoped that _I'd_ make a good mate for Edward. Of course, the first time I met him all he'd do is glare at me and say but a word. He showed absolutely no interest in me—_no man_ had ever done that to me before—and he treated me like I was worthless." She growled.

"Years passed without him giving me a second glance. Alice and Jasper luckily joined and provided me some more people to actually talk to—Edward has always been cold and brooding. He thinks of himself as a monster because of what he is," she laughed; a cold, shrill laugh. "He's only a monster because he makes himself that way." Her eyes flashed and I instinctively moved backwards. "I found Emmett being mauled by a bear—nearly dead—and carried him to Carlisle. I knew I couldn't do it myself, though how I managed to carry him all the way to help with his blood smelling so strong is a puzzle to me. I guess it must be because of what I saw him as; he had the same curly hair and dimples as my friend's son had. I always wanted the perfect little family with the gorgeous husband, rich house, large, exclusive social circle, and beautiful little children running around. Royce never gave me that—I killed _him_ before he ever had the chance to give children to anyone. But, seeing Emmett, all I could think of was my friend's son and how much I wanted her life; a loving husband, a sweet little son. Something I never got." She growled. "I never wanted to be a vampire. No one ever game me the option. Sometimes, I just _hate_ what we are so much. Is it so horrible to just want _normalcy_?" She sighed.

"I was happy with Emmett—_am_ happy with him. He's the best thing that ever happened to me." Her smile grew wistful and I enjoyed being able to watch her happily reminisce. "Oh—right—Edward." She chided herself, coming back to present.

"He loves the family and is very loyal to us. He uses his gift—which, he can read minds—and—" she began, but I lost track when she said _'he can read minds'._ Could he read _my_ mind? What would he think of everything that's been going on in my head since the first day I saw him? Why didn't he tell his family I was out there, and changed? Could he really despise me that much? Or was his attention elsewhere with him '_moping_', as Rose would say?

"—apparently a little while after he first changed he became rebellious and killed many people—but they were all bad; murderers, rapists and such. He read their thoughts and killed only the guilty ones. _Still_, he has the most blood on his hands of all us, besides Jasper." I quirked my eyebrow confusedly. _Jasper's worse than Edward? _I'll have to ask him about that.

"He realized murdering is wrong, no matter what kind of people you do it too, and he came back to the family. Apparently he couldn't upset Carlisle so he adjusted to our diet." She stated bitterly, wrinkling her nose. "He isn't really very interesting. He likes to play morbid, angry, and morose music on his piano. He's short tempered and I swear he's bipolar. He sometimes reads, but not as much as Jasper or Carlisle do. He gets along with Emmett and Alice best out of everyone, though I don't understand how they can tolerate him." She growled, putting extra strength into flattening out a dent, causing a bigger one to form in the opposite direction.

"He usually keeps to himself. He smiles occasionally, and laughs once in a blue moon. He never talks about his human life, and he rarely says anything about his feelings now. It's irritating, but I'd rather that than to hear his voice more than I already have to." She grumbled. "Oh, and did you see him in school that first day? All the girls think he's _God's gift to man_. Oh, _please_. They just like him because he's the only one of us who's still single. And, mind you, he plans on staying that way. I swear he believes cooties are real or something by the way he avoids any woman he's ever met. Well, besides those in his family. You should've seen Tanya! She lives here—actually; I think she visited within the last eight weeks, maybe you heard her? Anyways, she's gorgeous. Not as much as me, of course, but still. Long, voluminous strawberry-blonde hair, a pretty face, and not a bad body…she practically _throws_ herself at him and he completely ignores her. I swear if he's not gay he has some disease or mental problem that prevents him from having proper male hormones." She scoffed. "I wonder if he'll ignore you…" Rose began to ponder. "I doubt it. You'd never throw yourself at him—not _that _excuse of a man! If anything, you should be there screaming your lungs off at him than falling in love with his _oh-so-perfect_ looks," she finished sarcastically.

"He won't be able to avoid you—I'm sure you'll be the one avoiding _him_. I hope you give him hell—the _idiot_ deserves it. Killing a whole class of humans! Can you believe it?! Sure, maybe one I could understand—if out of the public eye—but a whole class, in the middle of a populated school? That boy is mad! I swear if Carlisle and Esme weren't watching over him like a hawk I'd knock his pitiful body all the way from here to Italy!" She vowed angrily under her breath. "Then again, even if I did he wouldn't care. The boy's got the whole "_oh-woe-is-me-I'm-such-a-monster_" attitude going on."

Her wrench smashed the tire, popping it. A curse slipped lowly from her lips. "How could he, you know? He forced our entire family to move when we still had two years left there; we can't go back there for a _long_ time because our family will be remembered for their sudden fleeing of the scene, and how Edward just so happened to survive the massacre yet no one has seen him since. Now it'll be centuries before we can return—and I _really_ liked Forks. Plus, the Volturi may hear about it! Can you imagine?! I suppose you don't know what they are, but they're basically our government. We have our own rules—or, well, one really: don't expose what we are. Edward broke that rule. He put our whole family in danger of the Volturi wrath! And don't even get me started on all the lives lost! Yes, they might have just been _humans_, but they were still lives! And look at you—_forced _to become one of us!" She popped another tire. "I swear, the minute he steps his foot into this—"

"_ROSALIE! You will not attack Edward! STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT!"_ A pixie voice yelled from upstairs. I gaped at Rosalie.

"Attack? You'd attack your own _brother_?" I gasped.

"He deserves it." She muttered. _What if I screw up? Will she want to hurt me too? _"Serves him right for being such a—"

"ROSE! BELLA! COME ON! FOOTBALL!" a loud voice boomed from the house. I turned my face questionably towards Rose, whose face lit up.

"Em, Jazz and I keep track of the humans' football games. It's actually pretty interesting—Alice normally comes, too, but she reads her fashion magazines. Carlisle and Esme usually have some alone time together, and, well, Edward _used_ to watch. He was never as into it as Em, Jazz or I though." She shrugged, gracefully lifting herself up off the cement floor, gesturing for me to follow.

--x--

The game was alright; I'd never found sports overly interesting—it was always Charlie's forté. _Charlie, the father I barely got to know and might never see again…_

Emmett and Rosalie were hilarious, though. Whenever the team they were rooting for scored, they jumped up from the couch and burst into applause. They'd yell at the screen if it were losing. I swear a meteor could hit the house and they wouldn't have even noticed. Jasper wasn't quite as rambunctious as the other two, but he did carry a huge grin when the team was doing well and a large scowl when it wasn't.

I didn't get to see the end, though, as Alice excitedly told me that my laptop was in. Apparently, it was supposed to be in the day before but there were slight problems, and the company was dreadfully sorry. They offered to absolutely _anything_ to make it up the Cullens. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of connections these people had in order to get the company to react like that, but Jasper's smug expression seemed to say plenty.

It was a lime green inspiron—Alice told me I'd be happiest with that color and make. From what I know so far, _you never bet against Alice_, so I suppose she's right.

She gave me a pile of iTunes cards, along with an iPod, and told me to go crazy. She changed my desktop background to a picture of three Louis Vutton models showing off their new line, changed the color theme of the computer to pink, made Vogue my homepage, and then continued to change miscellaneous details—I was becoming unsure whether the computer was more for me or for her. I definitely didn't mind, though. It was way too much for them to buy me an iPod, let alone a whole computer!

Alice and I continued to play on it all night until the sun came up. I tried out msn for the first time in my life—it was _fascinating!_ Truly, I've never cared much for computers, but when you're not allowed in school and have nothing better to do, it's actually rather fun. I even found a website where I could read books online—though Alice said reading a book from a screen would drive her crazy. I didn't mind it.

I researched the Forks newspaper—the massacre from eight weeks ago is still in the headlines. Checking the vast collection of newspapers over the weeks, it seems there hasn't been a week it wasn't on the front page. The most recent theory is this, "_A junior attending the high school is thought to be the reason for the killings. He, along with his four other adopted siblings, left class that same day before EMTs arrived. Their whole family fled the state before they could be questioned. Carlisle Cullen, local doctor, reportedly told the hospital he was offered a job in Las Angeles that he couldn't pass up. He left in such a rush that he only managed a scrawled note before his entire family disappeared from public eye. After extensive research into LA hospitals, it seems Cullen was lying. More is to be looked at as to why exactly the family would do such a thing, but many think that their outcast status could be a major cause for it—"_

I flipped through the article, and another, and another. Most were alike, though many had different theories. I noticed that a good friend of my dad's—Billy Black—had some rather unpleasant things to say about the Cullens. It's understandable, though, given the legends they have about our kind. It was no surprise that the Cullens were plastered in every newspaper—their fleeing did look mighty suspicious.

The articles also had quotes and excerpts from families of the deceased—Mike Newton, Angela Weber—both murdered. Their families are devastated. I'm with Rosalie on this—_how could Edward do that?!_

If I ever thought I could forgive him, I was wrong. Edward Cullen is a lousy waste of space who doesn't deserve to set foot on this planet.

--x--

It has been three days since I first introduced myself to this family, but it seems much longer. Already they're my surrogate family and I love them to pieces. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise what happened that horrible day eight weeks ago…

Could something so bad really be good, though? I lost everything to have nothing, and start life over pretty much without anyone. Now I'm doing okay, but am I really doing and better than I would've if this whole incident didn't happen? There's nothing but a pile of endless questions.

"Bella?" A voice called from the other room. I quickly followed it.

"Yes, Carlisle?"

"I had a few questions for you, and I was wondering if right now might be an all right time?"

"Sure—Alice was just showing me Dolce & Gabbana's newest collection of sunglasses, but I don't mind leaving." I smiled widely. _I think my pair of sunglasses back home were picked up at the dollar store…_

We walked together to his office, passing pleasantries between each other. As we made our way into his office and I got the full view of it for the first time, the comment I was about to say on my last hunting trip got stuck in my throat.

It was amazing. The back wall was a complete ceiling-to-floor window, just like all of the back walls in the rest of the house. The walls to my left and right were completely covered with shelves that were loaded with hundreds and hundreds of books, and by the looks of it most of them were extremely old. As Carlisle closed the door behind us, I turned to face him and saw that the entire wall facing me was strewn with beautiful paintings that I knew I could stare at for hours and still not get tired of their exquisiteness.

Carlisle walked past me and sat on top of an elegant wood desk, motioning for me to take a seat in one of the matching chairs that were scattered in front of him.

"So, Bella," he began, " I wanted to ask you something; it won't take very long. I know Emmett's bouncing off the walls waiting for you to play video games with him. But, I was wondering—some vampires have special gifts. You already know Alice can see the future, Jasper can feel and influence emotions, and Edward can read minds. When someone becomes a vampire, certain traits are intensified, and other abilities may arise. Esme's maternal instinct intensified, my compassion, Emmett's strength, Rosalie's tenaciousness, and Edward's musical ability. Alice's, Jasper's, and Edward's special abilities came from human traits, as well. Alice had premonitions as a human, Jasper was very charismatic, and Edward was always good at reading people. Now, have you noticed any special abilities?" He questioned.

I began to think. "I'm stronger, faster, and have more room to think…" I listed, but he informed me those were all traits vampires generically had. "I, um, well I…" I stuttered. I really had no idea.

"What were you good at as a human?" He prodded.

"Well…not much, really. I was good at cooking, I liked to read…." I trailed, racking my brain for ideas. "People said I was mature, perceptive, and responsible…I don't know how accurate those are…" I backtracked. I didn't really know if they were all true, and I certainly didn't want to seem pompous. Luckily, Carlisle just shook his head solemnly, pondering ideas.

"I'm not sure. It doesn't seem like you have special abilities, or else you would have noticed by now. However, I think the traits you listed were most likely all intensified. From your story of what happened after you were changed, and your thoughts on observing my family, you seem very intuitive, observant, and perceptive. That seems to be your most intensified traits, but I'm sure there's more." He smiled friendlily.

"Okay, well thank you." I replied graciously.

"So, Bella, what have you been thinking about life as a vampire, and of my family?" He questioned. However, Emmett's shouts to '_hurry up and get your butts down here to play'_ broke us out of our conversation. Chuckling lightly to ourselves, we made our way to the family room where the rest of the group was already seated.

I realized I hadn't changed my outfit in days—between talking to Jasper the entire first night, then hanging out with Alice and being dragged away by Carlisle before she had a chance to dress me, I hadn't had an opportunity to change. The clothes didn't look or smell dirty, though, and I found myself exceptionally happy that Alice hadn't had a chance to really look me over to observe my lack of care for my physical appearance.

Emmett had Nintendo 64 hooked up—apparently, it was one of his favorite game systems out there. We were all teaming up to play a round of Mario Party, though Carlisle had to leave for work. I was surprised he wasn't hanging low after such an event happened in Washington and that he wasn't scared of being recognized, but I suppose if he heard of people noticing the similarities the family would just move elsewhere.

Esme and I were on a team, opposing Alice's and Jasper's side as well as Rose's and Emmett's.

It was a great time for bonding; a really fun time in general—until Alice kept begging me to go upstairs to change.

"Hey, Bella, you _really_ need to change now. I mean, _really_! What, are those clothes three days old now? Come on, Bella, _hurry_, we have to go! Actually, let's go hunting, and then you can get changed. If you're going to ruin the clothes you may as well as do it now before you put new ones on. Or, how about we go hunting and _then_ go shopping out of state! I know a place run by vampires that we could go to! It'd be safe for you there! Please, _please_ Bella, now!" She begged, tugging on my arm in attempt to drag me upstairs. Her small figure mixed with my still existent—yet minimal—newborn strength couldn't compare. I continued to oppose her, saying after the game I would change. _Even though I didn't want to…_

Yet, for some reason, she wouldn't stop trying to make me leave the room! I swear it was almost as though she just wanted me to leave. She almost seemed more interested in just getting me out of the house—or at least this section of it—than be actually changing, or hunting. "Bella, seriously, there's something I _have_ to show you out back…" she begged, using all her strength to pull me, shooting the others pleading glances. They all looked undecided—about what, I don't know. Her begging grew more insistent. I was just about ready to give in to her pleas when I noticed a new scent.

I turned my head in the direction it was coming from. It seemed vaguely familiar, something I had smelled around the house and in the car for quite some time now. A hooded figure slowly walked through the door, sullenly stalking towards us. I watched, curiously, as Alice's pulling suddenly went slack. The figure seemed to get within a certain range of me and then in a flash it's head snapped up and it's black eyes pierced mine. They were the same cold, black eyes that penetrated mine right before my life was taken.

Edward Cullen.

* * *

**A/N:**

-----please check out my profile - i have a poll on there about which story of mine you're enjoying most, out of curiousity's sake! :)

.*.I changed this story so that Jasper wasn't helping get Edward out of Bio during the massacre. I realized that he'd be too tempted to drink the slaughtered humans than to get Edward out of there, especially since the blood lust Edward was feeling would overpower him. I tried to change all the parts in the story about Jasper being in that scene, but if I missed something, please let me know!

.*. You might be wondering about this line— "Esme was going to kill me. If I can even be killed. I was really beginning to like it here, too." Bella does not know vampires are immortal at this point. She assumes they die naturally, but from her body's transformations she's unsure if she can be killed, or if the only way for their kind to die is the way humans do naturally with old age.

.*. You might think that everything is peachy keen with Bella and the Cullens right now (exc Edward). That is not true. Bella is just adjusting to finally being accepted by them; she still has a lot to think about. Just because she seems to fit in with them now and everything going perfect does not mean it will remain that way.

.*. The volturi's rule is that you cannot expose yourselves. No one has come to the conclusion that the Cullens are vampires. Of course, this incident gives them a bad rep, but doesn't necessarily call volturi attention. Though the Cullens might want to do some more damage control...

Okay guys! So, this story is now being co-authored by my beta (former beta for this story, but she's still doing my others) edwardnbella4eva09. In place of her beta-ing this, someone new has stepped on the scene! Lola84 beta'd this; I met her over at Twilighted. She did an amazing job editing this (:

**Attention MONSTER FROM MY NIGHTMARES and BLUE SKIES & WILTED DAFFODILS readers**: I have _not_ forgotten about you. Here's the low-down on what's happening:

**MfmN:** I am currently in the process of rewriting chapters 3 and 4, as they are way too close to SMs Twilight and it really does need to be changed. Ch.3 is rewritten, but I still have most of ch 4 to go. I have about 1000 words down for chapter 8, but I'd like to get rewriting/editing done first. Also, when those two chapters are done being rewritten, I have to change the dream sequence in chapter 7 to accommodate them. I _promise_ you I will get this done quickly! I really want to have chapter eight out to you asap, so I'd say that I'll hopefully get editing done this week and chapter eight out next weekend [hopefully]. Thank you so much for you patience, guys! Something interesting (in my opinion) is happening in the next chapter, and it's also from EPOV – as I've had four readers ask for that, though I told a couple of them I wouldn't, I decided I will. (I already have credit going out to them in the a/n for that story).

**BSWD:** No, I have not forgotten about this story. I actually asked my beta to co-author TDG so I'd have more time to work on this. The whole chapter is planned, including what will happen in each of the remaining chapters, it's just a matter of getting it all down—especially since it's kind of a s low part of the story right now, mostly with fluff and build-up. Chapter 27 will be written before I post my next chapter of TDG (this story).Yes, I have started writing it. No, it isn't near ready to be posted yet. Though, any input would be amazing. I love discussing plot with people.


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